


All I Do Is Want You

by lovelarry10



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Jealous Harry, Jealous Louis, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Niall Horan & Harry Styles Friendship, Oblivious Harry, Oral Sex, Pining, Rimming, Shameless Smut, Slow Burn, Smut, Uni AU, Unrequited Love, Zayn Malik & Louis Tomlinson Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 17:54:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17472215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelarry10/pseuds/lovelarry10
Summary: “Lou, if he knew how you felt, he might change how he feels?”“And that’s the last thing I want!” Louis threw up his hands as he spoke, exasperated as he always was when it came to this particular topic of conversation. “I don’t want him to feel like he owes me something, or that he has to reciprocate my feelings, Zayn. He doesn’t feel that way towards me and I’ve come to terms with that, okay? You need to as well.”“I would if you actually meant it,” Zayn mumbled in reply, barely ducking in time as Louis lobbed a cushion at him. “You know this isn’t healthy, right? That you can’t just keep fucking him because you’re scared you’re gonna lose him?”Harry loves his best mate Louis. He especially loves the casual sex they indulge in. Trouble is, Louis’ in love with Harry. Surely it’s destined to end in heartbreak...





	All I Do Is Want You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fadedtoblack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedtoblack/gifts).



> My first fic of 2019 and it feels only right it's for someone who means the world to me. This is for my best friend, Laura (@bestlarriefics on Twitter). She's been asking me to write her a fic in forever, and for her birthday, I caved. I loved the prompt and did the best I could with it, so I hope it's everything you're looking for, Laura! I love you very much, and happy birthday!
> 
> Thanks go to Liz, El and Andre for their help and guidance to make sure I got this completely right! 
> 
> Title is from Laura's favourite song, Pink Lemonade by James Bay.
> 
> Enjoy and please let me know your thoughts in the comments, they keep me going! :) x

“Oh my god, Louis...” Harry moaned out as he was pushed backwards against his desk, ignoring the wooden edge digging into his back, focusing instead on the intense pleasure Louis was giving his cock with his mouth right now. His long fingers were wrapped in Louis’ hair, keeping him in place as Louis sucked him eagerly, on his knees for him, exactly where Harry loved him to be. “Fuck, you’re so good at this-”

Louis just looked up from his position on his knees, his lips stretched around Harry’s cock as he worked himself over Harry’s length, rolling his tongue around the head, teasing Harry in the best way he knew how. They’d been doing this long enough for Louis to know exactly how Harry liked to be touched, and he could feel Harry was more than ready to come, which wasn’t exactly what he was aiming for right now. 

He stood up and licked his lips, letting Harry’s cock hang heavily between his legs, ignoring the moan that was coming from Harry at being released from the warm confines of his mouth. “Been eating pineapple again, haven’t you?” Louis murmured, and Harry just nodded, reaching for Louis’ waistband. “You ready or…”

“I opened myself up when you text and said you were coming over,” Harry mumbled, not even embarrassed at his enthusiasm for sex with Louis and how eager he was for it all the time. He’d never met anyone like Louis in his eighteen years on planet Earth, and he wasn’t sure he ever would again, not sexually, at least. Louis was a sex god, in Harry’s eyes, and Harry took the chance to fuck Louis, or be fucked by Louis, whenever he could get it. It was an arrangement that was perfect for the pair of them, he thought.

“Dirty boy. Get naked, then.” Harry fumbled with his t-shirt and pulled it off over his head, throwing it to the side, not caring at all where it ended up. He turned around and bent over the desk, well aware he was exposed entirely to Louis now, and he wiggled his hips, gasping as Louis’ hands grabbed at the flesh of his butt, pulling his cheeks apart slightly. “Fucking beautiful…”

Harry groaned as the blunt head of Louis’ cock pressed against his entrance, pushing back immediately to get him inside. There was nothing nicer in the world than the feel of Louis’ cock deep inside him, and Harry was craving it now more than ever. It had been a good month since he’d last had sex with Louis, and that was entirely too long. Harry had had offers over the Christmas break back home, but somehow, he knew none of them would match up to how good Louis was in bed, and he’d turned them down, resorting to phone sex, and dirty Snapchats with Louis while they endured their forced separation.

“Please, fuck me now,” Harry begged, fingers gripping the edge of his desk. Louis suddenly rammed his hips forwards, burying himself inside Harry in one stroke, making them both cry out at the sensations zipping through their bodies. “Ah, fuck! Louis… shit. You’re so fucking big…”

“Well, you’ve been teasing me for the past hour around our mates, making it obvious you were fucking hard for me, so now I get to give you what you want.” Louis’ voice was gruff and he was breathless between sentences, most of his attention going to the pistoning of his hips as he fucked Harry over and over, not slowing down at all. More dirty words tumbled from Louis’ lips as he kept fucking Harry, the pair attempting to be quiet given their position in Harry’s dorm and the chance of being overheard, but Harry had a feeling he wasn’t going to shut up when he came. 

“Louis, need to come, I’m close,” he whined, head hanging low as he allowed Louis to take what he needed, his hole stretching more around Louis, loving the fact he knew he’d be sore later on, that he’d feel Louis for hours after they were done. Louis’ hand came around his hips and wrapped around his cock, stroking his fist up and down, driving Harry ever closer to his orgasm as he fucked him from behind, Harry’s favourite position to be taken in. Personally, he preferred it when Louis rode him, but right now, this was perfect. He couldn’t wait to return the favour and fuck Louis in a few days time. Maybe tomorrow.

“Want it? Want my come?” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear, tugging on his hair to bring his ear level with his lips, licking down the edge, sending shivers down Harry’s spine. Harry just nodded, and wailed when Louis slammed in hard again, chasing his own orgasm. Their bodies worked together in tandem until they both came, Louis first, swiftly followed by Harry, his come covering the desk, neither of them at all bothered.

Louis panted and rested his cheek against Harry’s back, the bones of his spine pressing against his cheekbone for a moment until he stood up, pulling out of Harry’s body and smirking at the sight of his come trickling out of his entrance. It had been Harry who had asked them to stop using condoms, and Louis had agreed, only if Harry promised not to have sex with anyone else, which he’d easily agreed to, despite temptation being offered on a plate more often than not at the student bar. They’d got tested, and since then, sex had been bareback, and mind-blowing for the pair of them.

Harry sighed and turned around, resting his bare ass on the edge of his desk, watching Louis pull on his underwear and jeans, the curve of his hips, the little pooch of a tummy he enjoyed touching with his fingertips. “Shit, that was amazing. Dunno how I went a month without that.”

“Says a lot we’ve been back at Uni for about two hours and we’ve already fucked,” Louis teased, wriggling Harry’s t-shirt over his head, leaving his own in a heap on the floor. Harry was still naked, but he didn't care. In fact, he quite enjoyed how Louis’ eyes roamed his bare body, how his cock rested against his leg, twitching again as Louis licked his lips. “I better go, need to grab something from my professor for tomorrow’s seminar.”

“Fine, if you must. Leave me here, naked and filthy.”

Louis just laughed, wrapping himself up in his coat, frowning as he looked at the cold, dark afternoon out of Harry’s window. “You’ll live. Might see you later this week, yeah?” He leaned in and pecked Harry’s lips briefly, something they only indulged in when they had sex.

“I’ll call you, maybe get the lads together for a drink?”

“Sounds good!” Louis called as he let himself out of the door, not looking back as he pulled it shut behind him, leaving Harry alone again. The room was too quiet, and Harry stood up, walking to the little sink in the corner of his room, running the hot tap until warm water came out, dampening a flannel to clean himself up with.

When he was clean, he pulled on some boxers and collapsed on the bed, responding to some emails from his tutors, checking over his schedule for the week. It was a fairly light week to ease him in, some classes setting reading that could be done in his dorm room rather than trekking all the way to the main campus. Just as he was about to put his phone down and watch some Netflix on his laptop, his phone pinged again and he grinned as Louis’ name lit up in his notifications.

**Louis:** _ Thanks for that, was a good welcome back and a great start to the term! X _

**Harry:** _ You’re welcome, was totally my pleasure haha! My turn next time…  _

**Louis:** _ Presumptuous, much? X _

**Harry:** _ Not denying it though…. _

There was no more replies and Harry sighed, turning his phone off. He stuck on an episode of the latest American show he’d gotten into over the Christmas break at home back in Holmes Chapel, not bothering to pause it when there was a knock at his door, knowing it would be Niall. It opened a second later, and the Irish whirlwind barrelled in, flopping down next to Harry and shutting his eyes.

“Fuck. Stinks of sex in here. Open a window when you wank, Harold.”

Harry scoffed and turned around, hugging his friend close.

“Fuck off. You literally only come here to sleep, don’t you?” Harry asked, and chuckled to himself when Niall just nodded, throwing an arm over Harry’s chest as he started to doze. Harry just wrapped an arm around him and listened to the show, exhausted after his sex with Louis, deciding a nap with his best mate might just be a good idea.

*****

“So, how many times has it been since we’ve been back from break?” Zayn asked, snatching a kitkat from Louis’ fridge and settling down on the armchair in the corner of the room while Louis pored over his maths textbook, glasses perched at the end of his nose as he chewed on the tip of his pencil. “Oi, Tommo!” He balled up the silver foil from his chocolate bar and launched it at Louis, laughing as it bounced off the top of his best friend’s head.

“Fuck off! You know this shitty paper is due tomorrow, and I needed to work this fucking thing out,” Louis grumbled, letting his pencil drop onto the pad of paper in front of him. “What did you say? Give us some of that.”

Zayn rolled his eyes but snapped off a finger, chucking it to Louis who caught it in one hand, munching on it straight away. “I asked how many times you’d fucked Harry since we’ve been back in Oxford,” he said, not missing how Louis’ head whipped around at the mention of Harry’s name. “Oh come on, you can’t lie to me, mate.”

Louis sighed and leaned back against the sofa, eyes finally meeting Zayn’s. “Um, twice?” He was well aware his cheeks were flushed and betraying his emotion once more, but luckily, Zayn was the one person in the world he didn't have to hide his true feelings from. “We fucked at Harry’s place on the day we came back, then again the other day after his class in one of the small tutor rooms.”

“Fucking hell, Lou, you know you’re gonna get caught if you two insist on fucking in public all the time.” Zayn snapped his last Kitkat finger in half, handing the other piece to Louis, who took it gratefully. “Seriously, when are you gonna be honest with him?”

“Uh, never?” Louis dismissed the thought as quickly as he always did, knowing it wasn’t even in the realms of possibility when it came to him and Harry. They were friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Friends who occasionally (frequently) had sex with each other. That was all. Harry had made that clear on more than one occasion, and Louis had resigned himself to that fact. Harry wanted him as his friend. Not his boyfriend, or anything more. And honestly, Louis felt like having Harry in his life as his friend and sometime fuck buddy was better than never at all. “I can’t, Z. You know that.”

“Lou, if he knew how you felt, he might change how he feels?”

“And that’s the last thing I want!” Louis threw up his hands as he spoke, exasperated as he always was when it came to this particular topic of conversation. “I don’t want him to feel like he owes me something, or that he has to reciprocate my feelings, Zayn. He doesn’t feel that way towards me and I’ve come to terms with that, okay? You need to as well.”

“I would if you actually meant it,” Zayn mumbled in reply, barely ducking in time as Louis lobbed a cushion at him. “You know this isn’t healthy, right? That you can’t just keep fucking him because you’re scared you’re gonna lose him?”

“That’s not why we keep fucking, and keep your nose out! He’s a great shag, we know what each other likes, and we’re both happy with how things are. Just leave it, please?” Louis didn't look up then, staring intently at the rip in the knee of his jeans, pulling at a loose thread until it unravelled a bit further.  _ Unravelling like my mind  _ Louis thought, wrapping it around his index finger, not even shifting when he felt Zayn sit down on the floor next to him, their arms pressed together. 

“It’s shit, I know that and so do you. But I can’t help but feel you’re just hurting yourself by keeping this sex thing between you going, Lou. Harry’s a good guy, and I’m sure he wouldn’t walk away if you stopped what you had.”

“I… I can’t. Everytime we have sex, it feels like it’s only him and me, you know? Like… in that moment, it feels like he feels the same for me, that he loves me too. The way he holds me, kisses me, touches me… it’s everything, Z.” Louis was slightly horrified at the slight sting of tears in his eyes as he spoke of his painful unrequited love for his best friend Harry Styles. Louis had hoped it would get easier with time, that his feelings would fade and he’d come to terms with the fact he and Harry were never destined to be anything more than what they were right now. Five months later, however, he was more in love than ever, and he didn't have a clue about what to do.

“Then you have to tell him. You can’t keep torturing yourself like this. What happens when he meets someone that he wants to date? I doubt he’s the sort to keep fucking you on the side, Louis-”

“Hey, he’s not! He’s a fucking amazing human being, there’s no way he’d do that. Look, just… I’ll think about it, okay? But I’m fine, I enjoy sex with Harry, and I know that’s all it can be. Just let me sort this in my own time, Z, please?”

”Fine.” Zayn sighed heavily for a moment, reaching forward for Louis’ closed laptop, in lieu of a telly in his tiny off-campus room. “Wanna watch those new Luther episodes on iPlayer for a while?”

“Idris Elba? Being scared shitless? I’m all in.” Zayn laughed at that and Louis hopped to his feet, rubbing at his eyes with the sleeve of his (Harry’s) jumper, hoping Zayn wouldn’t notice that he’d been close to crying before. His best friend knowing he was hopelessly and completely in love with Harry was bad enough. Being brought to tears because of it was something he couldn't afford to let even Zayn see. His weakness when it came to Harry was his own burden to bear, and he quickly plastered on a smile as he returned to the floor, draping the blanket over him and his best friend in the whole world, turning his attention to the tiny fifteen inch screen, ready to be taken out of his own mind, if only for a little while.

*****

It had begun one sunny September morning in Oxford. Louis was beginning his third year, and as usual, had a rucksack stuffed full of Mathematics textbooks that probably weighed more than he did. He was spread out on a small grassy area outside the Mathematics block, legs out in front of him, bared to the sun thanks to his cutoff denim shorts, feet bare, Vans sat beside him on the grass. His head was tilted back, the sun warming his skin, and Louis sighed. He felt relaxed here, somehow, and although he missed home, there was part of him that loved it here.

“Shit! Oh my god, I just didn't see you there…” came the deep voice full of embarrassment, and Louis just peered up in amusement at whoever had just completely tripped over his outstretched legs. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, honestly, no harm done. What about you?”

“Apart from embarrassed, I’m okay. Are you sure I didn't hurt you?” The boy’s curly hair was flopping in his face as he looked down at Louis, and Louis took pity on him, getting to his feet and squinting up in the sun at the boy’s face. God, he was handsome.

“You really didn't, see? All in one piece.” He watched as the boy’s eyes roamed from his head to toes and back up again. Louis stuck his hand out, eager to find out the boy’s name, and where he was headed. “I’m Louis, Louis Tomlinson. Nice to meet you.”

“Harry Styles, hi,” the boy, Harry, replied as he slid his huge hand into Louis’ much smaller one, shaking it gently. “I’m a bit lost, actually, probably why I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“Oh, I might be able to help you. Where were you headed?”

“Yeah? That’d be great,” Harry gushed as he reached for a piece of paper from his back pocket, smoothing it out on the plane of his toned thigh. “Uh, I’m looking for the sciences block, room 42a?”

“Okay, no worries. I’ll walk you there if you want? I’m a third year, like to think I know my way around.”

Harry nodded and reached down for Louis’ bag, picking it up and handing it over. “That would be amazing, thank you. I probably don’t need to say it but I’m a first year, still getting my bearings.” They continued to chat as Louis navigated them in the right direction, and eventually, they arrived at Harry’s building, Louis waiting for the awkward goodbye that inevitably was about to take place. 

“Are you going in or…?” he trailed off, waiting for Harry to leave so he could get back to where he was.

“Uh, no? I don’t have a class ‘til tomorrow, I just wanted to know where it was?” He looked sheepish so Louis nodded, understanding entirely. “Actually, if you’re free… wanna grab a coffee or something?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” Louis had replied with a grin, pushing Harry in another direction, towards the best campus coffee shop. Their friendship had been easy from the get go. They’d spent two hours in the coffee shop nursing several cups of tea, chatting like they’d known each other their whole lives, and it wasn’t a surprise when they swapped numbers, promising to meet up again, neither caring about the slight age gap and different interests.

Zayn had been curious about the boy Louis hadn’t been able to stop talking about, and they’d all gone out a group just a week later, heading for the student union, getting drunk on too many cheap drinks, all firm friends by the end of it. Louis and Harry never stopped texting or calling each other, and Louis was sure he’d made a friend for life, even if he did have a bit of an all-consuming crush on his curly-haired, green eyes new best friend.

Things took a turn after about a month of being best friends, spending most of their free time together. Louis had trekked through the rain to help Harry with his studies, showing him some nifty methods he’d picked up over his three years at Uni, and they’d then sat in comfortable silence as they read from their textbooks, the perfect example of good students. It was Harry who made the first move, leaning across when Louis looked at him with a smile, pressing their lips together. Louis hadn’t objected, and had sunk into the kiss, something he’d been thinking about for too long, and they’d pulled away after a few minutes, sharing shy smiles before returning to their work.

They hadn’t really spoken about it but kissing became a thing they just did when they were on their own in Harry’s room, or chilling out at Louis’. Neither of them wanted to make a big thing of it, and seemed happy with it. Kissing was just something they did now. It was Louis who initiated things getting more sexual when he palmed Harry during a heavy make out session on his bed, which led to Harry fumbling and opening his jeans, letting Louis finally touch him. It had opened the floodgates and from then, most of their kissing sessions ended in hand jobs or blow jobs, both more than hungry for each other. 

Louis didn't find it awkward with Harry, not like he had done with other men he’d been with before. He wasn’t shy with his body around Harry, happily getting naked, telling him what he needed, and he put it down to the trust between them. Still, it was kept a secret between them, and Louis felt like it made it more fun, knowing what they did was just for them. There was no mention of relationships despite the change in things, and while that sat a little uneasily with Louis, he went along with it, enjoying himself too much to consider bringing up the awkward topic with his best friend.

However, things had changed for Louis when they’d had sex for the first time. It was a cold November evening, and they’d gone out to a club in town with Zayn, Liam and Niall. Louis wasn’t usually a club person but Harry had persuaded him with an amazing blowjob, and Louis hadn’t been able to say no. they didn't drink much, but spent the night on the dancefloor grinding up against each other, teasing and drifting off to other people, always returning to each other, ignoring the stares of their friends.

It had been Harry who had put the final nail in the coffin. After a particularly dirty dancing session to Beyoncé’s  _ Partition _ which had pulsated through the club and had Louis grinding his backside against Harry’s obvious erection, Harry had leaned in and whispered into Louis’ ear the words that they’d both been holding back for so long. 

_ “Come home with me, Lou.”  _

Louis had agreed and had let Harry lead him out of the club, back to his dorm and into his bed where Harry had fucked him quickly and roughly, and then later that night Louis had fucked Harry long and slow before he’d snuck out at five am, neither wanting to be caught together. It had changed everything, though, and they’d never stopped having sex after that, still keeping that side of their relationship a secret. Everyone who knew them just put it down to them being tactile and close, something that was entirely true as well.   

He’d also let falling in love with Harry happen, despite his own reservations. He hadn’t meant for it to, but he had done regardless. He’d harboured a crush on Harry long before they kissed, but it was sleeping with Harry that had pushed him from that into full blown realisation of being in love. Every time they had sex, Louis fell deeper for his best friend, even though Harry gave no hints he felt anything like what Louis was feeling so he kept it quiet, not wanting to ruin things. He’d kept it to himself until his best friend of three years, Zayn, had seen through his bravado and had confronted him until Louis had crumbled and cried on Zayn’s shoulder, admitting to having fallen for Harry, that he wanted more than just sex with his best friend, even though Harry had made it pretty clear from his flirtatious ways he wasn’t looking for a relationship.

Louis thought things might have changed when they’d had the quick chat about stopping using condoms with each other, but no, Harry had been his typical self; fucking Louis, or being fucked by Louis, and running away to whatever class or friend he had to meet. He always ended their encounters with a quick kiss, but there was nothing romantic about it. Instead, Louis had to plaster a smile onto his face and keep things as they were, preferring to have this with Harry than nothing at all. There was no way he could lose Harry from his life, not now. Unrequited love was painful, sure, but not as painful as losing Harry would be.

Louis shook himself from his reminiscing, glancing over to a picture on his windowsill. He reached for the frame and ran his finger over the glass, at the smiling faces inside it. It was their close-knit little group, himself and Harry, Zayn, and Harry’s best mate Niall. Their other friend, a second year called Liam was also in the picture, yanked in by Niall, and they were all slightly tipsy, arms flung around each other, Louis stood in front of Harry, one of Harry’s arms draped down his chest, resting on his pec. They looked like a couple stood like that, and as much as it killed Louis to look at it, he adored this photo too much to ever get rid of it.

He turned back to the Mathematics problem in front of him and jotted a few ideas down, groaning when he realised he’d made another mistake and he hadn’t yet cracked it. His phone pinged and he looked down at it, unable to stop the smile spreading across his lips as he read the message from his boy.

**Harry:** _ It’s my birthday in 10 days. I’m gonna have a party at the Union, you in?  _

**Louis:** _ Of course, H, and I know it’s your birthday. You haven’t been subtle...x _

**Harry:** _ Haha, oops? Make sure my pressie is something you can give me in front of everyone ;) _

**Harry:** _ Although I won’t say no to one you can give me just for the two of us ;) _

**Louis:** _ Rude. _

**Louis:** _ You know me too well… xx _

**Harry:** _ I’m coming over. Be ready! _

He flicked off his phone and chucked it back on the sofa, running his hand through his hair before he got to his feet. He stumbled into the kitchenette and rifled through his cupboards, pulling out a jar of pesto that just happened to be Harry’s favourite, along with a bag of fusilli pasta. He quickly set about making the meal, knowing this wasn’t exactly what Harry had meant by getting himself ready, but he knew after Harry’s class on a Thursday, he was always starving, and would appreciate a quick bite to eat.

The doorbell went just as Louis drained the pasta into a colander in the sink. He wiped his hands and he walked quickly to the door, pulling it open and grinning at the sight of a sweaty and red cheeked Harry, a bag slung over his shoulder, tight shorts clinging to his long legs despite the chilly temperatures outside.

“Let me in, you arse, it’s freezing!” Louis laughed and stepped away, letting Harry in and shutting the door behind him, shivering at a gust of cold wind that swept into the hallway. Harry quickly kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his coat, bending down to rifle through his bag, pulling out a pair of joggers and unashamedly pushing his shorts down his legs, baring his legs to Louis, who swallowed and quickly walked into the kitchen, not wanting to pop a boner around Harry just yet. He knew Harry’s body was amazing, he’d seen every inch of it too many times to count, and he didn't need a reminder just before they were about to eat.

“How was class?” he called, opening the jar of pesto and stirring several spoons of it into the hot pasta, making sure it was all coated. “Fuck! Get your fucking freezing hands off me!”

Harry laughed, pressing his palms against Louis’ bare tummy, having slid them up and under the hem of his knitted jumper. “Nope, you’re my own little hot water bottle. You made me dinner?”

“Yeah, know you’re hungry when you come here after class,” Louis answered with a shrug, trying to be casual, hoping Harry wouldn’t see through his actions as anything more than a friend making him a meal. He fed Zayn often enough too, so hopefully it came across as a casual thing. “Eat up. Cheese in the fridge.”

“You know you’re my favourite person in the whole world, right?” Harry replied as he rifled through the fridge, pulling out the little bag of mozzarella Louis kept in just for him, given neither Louis or Zayn liked cheese at all, except on pizza. “This looks delicious, Lou, thank you.”

There was silence for a few moments as they both ate hungrily, twisting their forks in the pasta, gobbling it down quickly, ignoring how hot the food was as it slid down their throats. Louis tried to ignore Harry’s wandering toes that were creeping up his calf under the small table shoved to one side of the kitchen, and how the fingertips of his free hand were creeping up and under the hem of his jumper again, stroking the skin of his hip absentmindedly.

Louis swallowed down the last of his food, and pushed his plate away, sipping on the glass of water he’d put out before Harry had arrived. Harry still had some food left on his plate but he pushed it away too, his eyes dark and hungry now as he looked at Louis. 

“Come here.” He patted his lap and Louis responded by getting up and straddling Harry’s thighs, sighing quietly in pleasure as Harry’s hands automatically came up and rested on hips under his jumper. “You know how fucking gorgeous you look in this jumper?” Louis just shook his head, knowing Harry loved to talk to him like this before they did anything sexual. “Makes you look all small and so. Fucking. Sexy.” He punctuated each of his words with a soft kiss to the side of his neck, his hands working their way down to the waist of Louis’ jeans, unhooking the button.

Louis could already feel himself ready to give in, despite earlier in the week promising himself he wouldn’t have sex with Harry anymore until he’d been honest and told his best friend how he really felt about him. However, his resolve was crumbling as Harry slid his hand down inside the front of Louis’ jeans, brushing up against his cock on top of his boxers. 

“You wanna ride me here?”

“Fuck.” Louis just nodded and stood up, walking briskly to his bedroom and returning with a towel and lube, setting both on the table, stopping suddenly when he saw Harry was already naked and sat on the chair, stroking himself. “Jesus, Harry…”

“What? You know what you do to me, don’t deny it, Lou.” Louis was overtaken with a compulsion to sink to his knees and take Harry into his mouth but he pushed that away, deciding the impulse to have Harry inside him was far stronger. He grabbed the lube and passed it to Harry, who just arched an eyebrow. “I thought you were gonna be ready for me?”

“I cooked you a fucking dinner, you twat. Can’t do everything. Besides, I like it when you do it.” Harry smirked at that revelation and flicked open the bottle, letting Louis sit on his lap, thighs spread enough for Harry to reach behind him. “Come on…”

“Alright, patience,” Harry murmured, running his fingers up and down between Louis’ cheeks before he dipped a finger inside, making Louis arch his back and whine, resting his forehead against Harry’s. They stayed like that for a few moments, breathing against each other’s mouths as Louis rocked back and forth on Harry’s finger, enjoying being filled up again. He’d topped the past two times they’d fucked since Christmas break, and he was craving this if he was honest.

“Kiss me,” Louis whispered, hating himself for allowing the words to slip past his lips, knowing it only made it harder on himself, made the sex more intimate but he needed it, needed to be close to Harry. Harry didn't hesitate and pressed his lips to Louis’, kissing softly before he parted his lips, letting Louis slip his tongue into his mouth. Louis moaned at the taste of Harry, how his tongue felt against his own, and it was so much, to feel Harry inside him, to be tasting him and kissing him like it meant something… it did to Louis, anyway.

They stayed like that for too long, Louis giving in and removing his own shirt, pressing his bare chest to Harry’s, who was now trying to push three fingers into Louis’ entrance, working them in slowly so he didn't hurt him. Louis kept kissing Harry to distract himself from the sting of Harry’s long fingers but tried to relax, knowing it would make taking Harry’s cock inside him much easier, given how big he knew Harry was.

“I’m ready, get in me,” Louis begged, gasping again when Harry withdrew his fingers, leaving him too empty. It didn't take Harry long to replace his fingers with his cock, and Louis’ fingers wound into Harry’s hair as he sank down, taking Harry’s cock into himself inch by inch until he was sat on Harry’s lap. Harry dived back in for another kiss as his hands on Louis’ hips encouraged him to raise up slightly, dropping back down again and making them both moan. “Fuck, you feel so big...”

“And you’re so tight, god Lou…” Harry let Louis guide his own bounces then, sitting back and watching Louis ride him, his hard cock bobbing between their stomachs, dripping with precome. Louis could feel Harry’s eyes all over his body, and he arched his back slightly, knowing how much Harry loved his chest and stomach, hands flying up to confirm the fact as Harry tweaked Louis’ nipple, making him laugh. “Fuck, I never laughed during sex until I fucked you, gotta be a good thing, right?”

“Yeah, I- uh, god- love when we laugh, shit, you feel so good Haz.” Louis felt like his thighs were burning already from riding Harry, his feet straining as his toes struggled to remain on the floor and Harry must have been able to sense Louis was struggling as he pulled him into a quick kiss, biting on Louis’ lower lip as he knew Louis loved. 

“Arms around my neck, Lou, hold on tight.”

Louis did as he was told, and linked his arms around Harry’s neck, his cock pushed between their bodies as Harry stood up carefully, keeping himself inside Louis before laying him down on the kitchen table, Louis’ legs pulled tight around his waist. “Oh my god-”

“Fuck, you look so good under me like this, want me to fuck you hard, baby?” Louis shivered at Harry’s use of the pet name but nodded, knowing he wanted to feel Harry even when he’d gone, which would probably be straight after this, if their usual pattern was to be relied upon. Harry spread Louis’ legs further apart and began pounding roughly into him, Louis reaching up to pull Harry down so he could kiss him again, needing more than just Harry’s cock.

It was fast and rough and dirty, exactly how they both liked it, and it didn't take long for Louis to come, his cock being stimulated between their bodies, and he thanked God for Harry’s eighteen year old body and stamina, how he wasn’t flagging at all, how his biceps were bulging as he supported Louis’ thick thighs, now pushing them further apart as he looked down between them, watching himself fuck Louis.

“Shit, gonna come in you, okay, Lou?” He didn't wait for any verbal agreement, knowing Louis agreed wholeheartedly and rammed his hips forwards once more, coming hard into Louis, bending down to kiss him again as he did so, thrusting slowly as he rode out his orgasm, both of them sweating and panting as it started to end. “God, you have no idea how much I love having sex with you.”

“I think I might,” Louis replied, hoping it was ambiguous enough that Harry would just accept his answer. Luckily, he did, and Harry stood up again, pecking Louis’ chest before he eased his cock out, swiping between Louis’ legs with his own t-shirt before pulling him to his feet, their naked bodies close and touching at every possible point of contact. “Gonna borrow some clothes?”

“Please,” Harry asked, kissing Louis quickly before he walked off, Louis watching his backside as he headed ino Louis’ bedroom, hearing drawers being opened before Harry returned with a pile of clothes, dividing them between the two of them. They dressed quickly and quietly before Harry sighed, and Louis knew he was about to leave, as always. “Sorry Lou, got some homework due tomorrow. But thank you for the dinner. You’re the best, you know that?”

He opened his arms and Louis stepped into the embrace, wishing this meant the same to Harry as it did to him. He shut his eyes and rested against Harry’s chest, somewhat happy Harry would be leaving and walking around in his clothes, like he was claiming Harry in some small way. “Anytime, love, you know that. Now text me when you get back to the dorm please.” He tapped Harry’s ass as he walked away, watching him gather up his bag and coat, standing at the door. “Bye, Haz.”

“Bye Loubear, I’ll text you, yeah? Wanna meet up this week on campus?”

“Course. Go on, get outta here. See you soon.” Harry turned and waved before he jogged away, keen to get the mile back to the dorms as soon as possible. Louis sighed and shut his front door, sliding across the safety chain before he wandered through to the kitchen, collecting up Harry’s dirty clothes and walking into his bedroom, dumping them in his laundry basket with his own clothes. It was far too domestic for fuck buddies, even Louis knew that, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to care.

His phone blared as soon as he’d settled down on the sofa, flicking through the choices on Netflix, wondering what to watch that night. He picked up the call and grimaced, knowing Zayn was going to have a few choice words to say when he found out he’d slept with Harry again. 

“Hiya, Z…”

*****

It was the night before Harry’s birthday party at the Union, and he was currently stood watching Niall argue with the guy who was DJing for the night with an amused expression on his face. Niall was adamant he had a playlist ready to go, but the DJ wasn’t taking much notice of him, intent on playing his own music and Harry couldn’t quite bring himself to intervene.

“So, about fifty or so people, right?”

“Yeah, that sounds right. And the bar will be open til midnight?” 

“Yep, we can sort that, no problem. You all need to be out by two, though. I think that’s everything, if you just want to sign here to agree to the usual rules?” Harry nodded and accepted the pen, his eyes whizzing down the paper in front of him before he scrawled his signature, turning to grin at Niall who had now appeared next to him. “Thanks, Harry. Have a fun night tomorrow.”

“Thanks Gareth, I’ll try.” The other man, leaving Niall and Harry alone in the big room, a cardboard box full of balloons, streamers and other birthday bits sat to one side, ready for them to decorate tomorrow. “Cannot believe I’m gonna be nineteen tomorrow, Ni, shit, sounds old.”

“Don’t let Lou and Zayn hear you say that, they’ll thump ya, you know Lou just turned twenty one and nearly had a coronary about it!”

Harry laughed, remembering how Louis had panicked about getting old and growing grey hairs before the Christmas break, causing Harry to drag him into an empty classroom, lock the door and fuck Louis against it, proving he was only as young as he felt. Louis had felt a little better after that, and Harry had strutted up the corridor afterwards, feeling far too good about himself. “Yeah, bless him.”

“Is he coming tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, of course, he’s my best mate- um, joint best mate I meant…” he mumbled as Niall threw him a dirty look, nodding when Harry changed his answer to his satisfaction. “All the usual guys are coming, Lou, Zayn, and I think Liam too. Why? I thought I told you Lou was coming.”

Niall just shrugged, rummaging in the box as he spoke. “Just wanted to make sure. You’d be devastated if he couldn’t come, wouldn’t ya? You two are joined at the bloody hip sometimes.”

“Oh fuck off,” Harry chuckled, hipchecking Niall as he walked over, playing with the balloon pump a couple of times, smirking at the action his hand made as he worked the pump up and down. “We’re just mates, you know that. He just gets me, that’s all.” He dropped the pump back in and stepped away, looking up as the door clicked open, a familiar silhouette standing there, shivering from the cold. “Lou?”

“Yeah, s’me, can I come in for a bit? Fucking freezing and the professor is late to my next class, so we’re all waiting in the fucking cold.” Harry took a few big strides over and pulled Louis through the door, wrapping his arms around his best friend, rubbing his hands over him to warm him up. “Thanks, sorry to interrupt the party preparations- oh, hey Niall!” He waved at Niall who was watching the pair with an amused glance. Louis slipped out of Harry’s embrace, and Harry watched as he ambled over, hugging Niall quickly, nowhere near as fully as he’d hugged Harry.

“Yo, Tommo, how’s life?” Niall acted like he hadn’t seen Louis just yesterday in the library, and Harry sat down on a nearby chair, replying to a few emails while his friends chatted. He glanced up occasionally, unable to fully tear his eyes away from the swell of Louis’ ass in his tight jeans, the one Harry knew he wore when he was trying to attract attention. He hadn’t seen those jeans on Louis in too long, and he vaguely hoped Louis would be wearing them to his party tomorrow night, mainly so Harry could pull them down around his ankles and fuck him against the wall in them. 

“So have you got my special pressie all wrapped up then?” Harry waggled his eyebrows at Louis who just rolled his eyes, used to Harry rambling on about his birthday. They’d spent an hour on the phone last night while Harry cried about missing his mum and sister, wishing they could come up for the day, but they couldn’t due to work. Louis had calmed him down, secretly wishing he could be in bed with Harry, wiping his tears away but Harry had felt better after their chat. 

“If you ask me about the sodding present one more time, you’re getting nothing.” It was an empty threat and they all knew it but Harry nodded, like he was taking Louis seriously. “You’ll get it tomorrow when you’re nineteen, and it’s your birthday. Shit, is that the time? Class is gonna start, I’d better run. See you tomorrow, Nialler!”

“Ciao, Tommo!”

“Hey, Lou!” Harry called out, stopping Louis in the doorway and he jogged over to meet him, keeping his voice low so Niall wouldn’t overhear them. “You gonna wear those jeans to my party, right?”

“Might do, why?”

“Cos I wanna fuck you in ‘em,” Harry muttered, and Louis bit his lip, nodding before he slipped out of the door and ran away into the distance, bag thumping against his back. Harry chuckled to himself and walked back in, jumping when Niall was stood behind him, hands on his hips as he glared at Harry. “What? Did I do something?”

“You’re not hiding anything from me Styles, are ya?” Harry swallowed, praying his expression would stay neutral. He knew Niall wouldn’t actually care if he found out that he and Louis were having sex with each other, Harry was out, and so was Louis. They’d decided to keep their sexual relationship a secret though, and Harry wasn’t sure Louis would appreciate him spilling their secret, even if it was to Niall.

“No, course not, you big Irish idiot. Now come on, we have some clothes shopping to do, I have to look extremely fuckable tomorrow night.” Niall cackled loudly as Harry pretended to throw his hair over his shoulder, walking towards their coats with an exaggerated sway of his slim hips, thoughts of Louis’ outfit choice for tomorrow night running rampant through his mind.

*****

Louis stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom, fixing his hair as he frowned at his reflection, wondering whether or not to shave the scruff that was currently lining his jaw. Once his hair was coiffed to perfection (or as near as Louis felt he was going to get), he’d decided on not shaving, knowing Harry preferred him a bit rough, particularly when he ate him out, which Louis felt just might be on the cards tonight as a little birthday extra for the birthday boy. He jumped when there was a bang at his door, and he walked through, opening it to see Zayn on the other side, ready to leave. 

“Come in, I just gotta get my shirt on,” Louis called, walking back into his bedroom, catching sight of the gift bag containing Harry’s present sat on his bed. Louis had been deliberating over the gift for the past hour, finally deciding on braving it and giving it to Harry, hopefully when they were alone rather than in the middle of the party like everyone else. He shrugged on a charcoal grey shirt, fiddling with the small buttons, glancing at his reflection before he left the room, shoving his feet into some brogues in the hallway. “Do I look alright?”

“You’re wearing your fuck-me jeans, Lou. Intending to give Harry a little something extra tonight, hmm?” 

“Fuck. Off.” 

Zayn laughed and grabbed the gift bag that was hanging from Louis’ fingers as he went to put his coat on. “What’s in here then?”

“None of your fucking business, that’s what,” Louis said as he snatched the bag back, not needing a lecture from his best mate on the appropriateness of his gift for Harry. “Come on, let’s go. We’re gonna be late.”

“Harry won’t care, as long as you’re there,” Zayn muttered as he followed Louis out of the front door, into the chilly February night. “You talked to him yet, by the way?”

“I talk to him pretty much every day, Z, you know that.” Louis ignored the question, knowing exactly what his friend was getting. He turned to see Zayn lighting a cigarette, blowing away the first puff of smoke, watching it float away on the breeze. “Oi, give us a drag.” He accepted the stick from his mate and placed it between his lips, sucking in deeply, holding the smoke in his lungs before he blew it away slowly, relishing in the slight burn in his throat. He coughed slightly, and Zayn smirked. “Bit out of practise…”

“Nothing to do with the fact you told me once it turns Harry on when you taste of smoke, right?”

“Oh, do fuck off, Malik,” was Louis’ only retort, a petty one, he realised, but hey, he couldn’t very well shoot Zayn down when he’d hit the nail on the head. It was going to be a very long night.

*****

Louis pushed his way through the crowd who were dancing on the makeshift dance floor, the room filled with the University’s poor attempts at disco lights, the DJ blasting out some hideous mix that Louis was sure would have Niall livid for the rest of the night. He’d spotted Harry as he’d walked in with Zayn but soon lost him again in the melée, probably having been grabbed by another friend.

“I see Liam, gonna go say hi, you alright by yourself?” Zayn shouted in his ear and Louis nodded, pleased to be alone for a few minutes, still clutching Harry’s birthday present for dear life. “Come find me if you need me. Go get your boy.”

“Not my boy,” Louis called out as he bumped shoulders with another first year he recognised from one of Harry’s classes, nodding in recognition at the man. His eyes were eagerly scanning the floor and finally found Harry, grinding up against some stocky guy, hands on his hips, pulling them close together. Louis pushed away the bubble of jealousy and stood against the pillar to his side, one leg crossed over the other, arms folded over his chest. He knew Harry would be able to see him if he looked the right way, and part of him hoped that he would.

The song changed and Louis watched as the guy Harry was busy grinding on spun him around, facing each other now. Louis could feel something turn in his belly as he watched, unable to drag his eyes away no matter how much it hurt to see this unfold. The lights dimmed and Louis could see Harry singing along, staring deeply into the man’s eyes, and it felt like a knife to Louis’ heart when their lips met, tongues pushing into each other’s mouths. Louis couldn’t take anymore and pushed off from where he was leaning against the wall until he was on both of his feet and stalking across the dance floor towards Harry.

He reached out and tapped on Harry’s shoulder, capturing his attention. It worked exactly how he thought it would because Harry’s eyes lit up at Louis’ presence, and he pushed away from the man he’d been dancing with, flinging his arms around Louis’ neck, holding him tightly.

“Boobear! My favourite person in the whole world… I’m so  _ so _ happy you’re here!” Harry held Louis at arm’s length and tried to focus his drunken gaze on him, failing miserably. “You look fucking  _ gorgeous, _ I love this shirt!” He pinched at the fabric between his fingertips and pulled it, causing Louis to stumble. “Oopsy, sorry!”

“And exactly how much have you had to drink?” Louis teased, knowing Harry was more than a little tipsy already. “Gonna spend the rest of this party looking after you now, aren’t I?” Louis moaned like it was a hardship, but really, there was nowhere else he’d rather be than by Harry’s side, taking care of him. 

“Yep, all mine for tonight. Come have one of my pretty cocktails, I’ll even find you a pretty umbrella that matches your eyes!” Harry clapped in excitement and grabbed Louis’ hand, pulling him along behind him, ignoring the amused smiles on the faces of Harry’s friends. He watched Harry wave his hands around at the bartender, turning around a few seconds later with two glasses filled with a colourful pink drink inside. “Just for my Lou!”

They clinked glasses and Louis sipped it, wincing slightly at the burn of the alcohol, now understanding why Harry had got so drunk so quickly. He nearly threw it over himself when Harry squealed loudly as the track changed, swinging his hips side to side.

“Ah, I love this song! I’m going to dance, come and join me, Loubear!”

“I’ll watch you from here, okay, love?” Harry pouted but grinned and quickly disappeared, diving into the crowd and singing loudly, making Louis chuckle as he kept sipping on his drink. Louis was steadfastly ignoring the fact he’d skipped dinner and that the alcohol would be getting into his system far quicker than he thought.

Just thirty minutes later, Louis was as tipsy as Harry, and was stood on the dance floor with Harry, singing into each other’s faces, surrounded by equally merry people. Louis felt free, and he loved being able to touch Harry and whisper in his ear and be close in public, no one batting an eyelid at their drunken actions. Harry’s hands had barely left Louis, and there was definitely something simmering between them Louis was keen to explore. He was halted in his tracks by Niall’s loud Irish voice booming out, hollering over the dipped volume of the music.

“Game time! Get yer arses in a circle for suck and blow!”

“Oh for fuck’s sakes…” Louis muttered, not being one for party games but it was too late to protest given Harry was already dragging him over and into the circle, before he was snatched away by Niall and another guy Louis was sure was called Matt. Niall ran through the rules of games, producing a playing card and demonstrating with the brunette girl next to him, sucking on the card as he pressed it between their lips, she doing the same to take it from him, ready to pass it around the circle. 

“If ya drop it, ya drink. Them’s the rules, good luck! Chuck us a decent song on, Mr DJ!”

Music began and as the birthday boy, Harry was allowed to go first, successfully passing it to the guy, Matt, next to him. The card carried on moving around the circle, Louis accepting it from Zayn and then turning to pass it to a shorter girl next to him, blowing it as she sucked for the card. It was eventually dropped first by Craig, a guy from one of Harry’s classes who threw back a shot, the crowd cheering as he did so. The music went up again and Louis followed the card, holding his breath slightly as Harry accepted it from Niall, whirling around and almost falling before Niall steadied him from behind. Harry faced Matt and bent his knees slightly, moving to press the card to his lips. Harry blinked and as he moved, the card fell, his lips pressing fully to Matt’s, their eyes quickly shutting and losing themselves in the kiss as everyone whooped and cheered. 

Louis balled his hands into fists, only calming down when Zayn rested a hand on his shoulder, distracting him for a moment. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Harry pull away, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand before he took the shot that Niall offered him, grinning blearily at his best friend.  The card was already back on the move, and it didn't last long until it was dropped again by the girl next to Zayn, forcing them into a quick kiss, not as deep as Harry and Matt, however.

The game went on for a little while longer, everyone switching places until Harry somehow ended up next to the guy he’d been grinding all over earlier on. Louis just rolled his eyes and resumed his new place next to Liam, with a girl called Natalie on his right. The track changed to something with a pulsating beat, and the speed of the game picked up, meaning more drops, more kisses and more shots. Harry was very much into the game, totally drunk by now and merrily kissing whoever he could, seemingly oblivious of the daggers Louis was sending him across the circle.

It was when Louis saw the other man’s tongue push between Harry’s lips that he’d had enough. A few others had drifted out of the circle but Louis didn't care. He stalked over the circle towards Harry and grabbed his wrist, not caring who was watching as he muttered at him.

“A word in private, Harry?”

Harry just smiled and nodded merrily, trust entirely placed in Louis as usual as he allowed himself to be pulled across the room, the circle closing the gaps the two of them had left behind. Louis listened as the volume of the music went up as well as a loud cheer, and he tugged Harry in the direction of a small corridor, towards the toilets.

“You wanna play suck and blow?” he mumbled as they neared the toilets, kicking open the nearest cubicle with his foot as they stumbled in, shoving Harry in ahead of him. “You wanna kiss other boys out there? Hmm?”

“Well, s’my birthday Lou…”

“Damn right it is. That’s why it’s time for my own version of Suck and blow.” He reached him and locked the door and sank to his knees, pulling at Harry’s belt until it hung down his thighs while Louis ripped open his jeans, shoving them down just far enough to pull out Harry’s rapidly responding cock. He peeked up and saw Harry licking his lips, clearly turned on and ready for whatever Louis was about to do.

Louis worked his fist over Harry’s cock for a few seconds, spitting in his palm to create some lube and ran his thumb over the head, making Harry visibly shudder. He was moaning loudly, enough that Louis was sure they’d be heard from outside the door, but he wasn’t sure he cared. Without warning, he opened his mouth and took Harry’s cock inside, jumping slightly when Harry’s head banged back against the cubicle door in sheer pleasure.

Louis hummed around Harry’s cock, running his tongue up and down the large vein along the side of Harry’s length, his hand still gripping at the base, working over what he couldn’t fit inside his mouth. Louis shut his eyes, allowing his senses to fully focus on the weight of Harry;’s erection on his tongue, how he tasted, the smell that was  _ so  _ Harry that just enveloped him. He was taken by surprise as Harry bucked his hips forwards, hands gripping at Louis’ hair, ruining his carefully coiffed hairstyle he’d spent ages on earlier, just for Harry.

Louis pulled off and frowned up at Harry, pleased to see he looked entirely debauched by now. “Fuck, watch the hair, would you?”

“Shut up and suck me off. It’s my birthday and I wanna come.” 

Louis did just that, sucking Harry down eagerly again, coughing slightly as the head bumped the back of his throat. Harry was gently rocking his hips nows, and Louis stilled himself, allowing Harry to take over, given it was his birthday and all. He looked up from under his lashes, fully aware of exactly how much Harry loved looking at him like this, and he waited, groaning in the back of his throat as Harry came, filling his mouth with warm, salty come.

He swallowed as much down as he could before he left a bit on his tongue, quickly getting to his feet and kissing Harry, forcing his tongue into Harry’s mouth, making him taste himself. It wasn’t something they did all the time, but Louis loved it when they did. He kept kissing Harry as he pushed his own jeans down enough to free his own cock, rutting readily against Harry’s leg, trying frantically to shove his jeans down before he made a mess of them too. Harry helped, licking eagerly into Louis’ mouth, pressing his thigh forwards once it was bare.

“Fuck, come on me, Lou, want it..” Harry mumbled, and his words were enough to send Louis over the edge, coming as he kissed Harry deeply, coating his thigh in strings of come, his cock smearing it over Harry’s skin. They were both breathless now, and rested their foreheads together, Louis still practically shaking with his the aftershocks of his orgasm, cock resting against Harry’s wet thigh. “Best birthday present ever.”

Louis just chuckled at that and shook his head, standing up straight and kissing Harry’s lips again as he tucked his cock away, turning around to get some toilet paper to try and clean Harry with. Harry, though, had different ideas. He pulled off the shirt he had on, a typically bold and colourful number, swiping it through the come, leaving stains that Louis was sure weren’t going to come out. When he was satisfied his thigh was clean, Harry hoiked his jeans back up, leaving the fly and button open.

Louis was crowded against the door with a shriek and Harry crashed their lips together, the shirt falling to the floor as Harry grabbed his face, kissing him deeply and dirtily, tasting himself on Louis’ tongue. The kiss was over too soon for Louis, and Harry fumbled with the lock, scooping his shirt out and stumbling into the main room, walking to the mirror to fix his hair. Louis stood next to him, knowing he’d have to hide out in here for a minute to wait for the redness in his cheeks to go down.

Harry’s eyes flitted across, meeting Louis’ and they smiled at each other, sharing a secret smile before Harry stepped back, drying his hands on a paper towel before chucking it in the bin.

“Happy birthday to me, indeed,” he mumbled as he went to grab the door handle, stepping backwards when it flew open, Zayn on the other side. Harry just turned and winked at Louis, making a show of fastening his flies as he left, leaving Louis staring at his reflection, waiting for the inevitable telling off that Zayn was about to deliver.

“Louis, I-”

“Don’t, okay? I know. I got jealous, and I had to do something. It was a fucking mistake, okay? I’m going back out there, see you in a bit.”

The door closed heavily behind Louis, and he took a deep breath as he headed back out onto the main floor, ready to finish the party in the best way he knew how. Getting drunk.

*****

“You are!” Louis shouted above the music, nodding wide-eyed at Harry, who was staring back at him with equally glazed eyes. They’d both had way too much to drink and were draped over a sofa together, Louis’ back against the arm rest, legs resting over a drunken Harry’s lap. Their defences were completely down now, but no-one was paying them any attention whatsoever. “You are the tallest person I ever met, Hazza. Your legs go on for fucking days, and you have big big feet.”

Harry held up his leg then, tilting his leg as he considered his foot. Louis realised they might look a little bit ridiculous but he didn't care. He had Harry’s full attention, and he wasn’t moving. Ever, probably. “I ‘spose they are quite big. But you know what they say, Loubear…”

“Well, they’re fucking right. You’ve got a huge cock. I like it, a lot.” They both laughed way too loudly at that and Louis quickly got up onto his knees, shushing Harry, pressing his palm against Harry’s mouth to shut him up. He leaned in to Harry’s ear, stumbling slightly but he steadied himself on Harry’s shoulder, whispering not-so-quietly. “It feels good when it’s splitting me open. Love it when you fuck me.”

“Fuck, stop it or you’re gonna make me hard,” Harry mumbled, a hand on his crotch now, not caring who was looking. “You’re fucking tiny, you know that? And I love that, love that I can carry you around and hold you up and take care of you.”

“Well, I just fucking love  _ you _ !” Louis blurted out, unsure why he was admitting it. But it was fitting - it was Harry’s birthday, after all, and what a great birthday present it would be to have someone tell you they love you? “I love you so much, Hazza, like, proper love you. No mates love, but like,  _ love  _ love.”

“Oh fuck off, Lou, don’t wind me up-”

“I’m not, ‘s true! I’m in love with you, my giant Harold. Been forever, I reckon. But it’s sad cos you don’t love me back, but that’s okay, cos we have really good and dirty sex, and you’re my best mate, so…”

Harry had fallen oddly silent and Louis sat back up, focusing his eyes on his best friend. He saw a bit of a strange expression on Harry’s face, but Louis was too drunk to try and figure it out.

“I … that’s ... I love you too, Lou-”

Louis heard his words, and his heart felt warm at the sound of them, but he shook his head. “Nooooo, don’t say that, Harry. Cause you don’t, not like I love you. It’s not the same. I know that, I do, but I just …” Louis lost his train of thought, the alcohol making him feel both fuzzy and awake all at once. “Hope ‘s alright with you, Hazza. I tried to stop but I can’t. You’re so easy to love.”

Harry was silent for a moment more, and Louis felt his heart sink to somewhere around his stomach. He knew what Harry would say next, and it hurt him in his tummy. 

“Okay. I, uh… I dunno what to say really, Lou.” Harry was biting his lip now, which Louis still found endearing, even after watching Harry do it for months.

“Course you do. You don’t love love me, and that’s okay, cause I’ll love you anyway,” Louis sing-songed, feeling slightly dizzy now.

Harry opened his mouth, then closed it, and went through the process three more times before Louis suddenly gasped, a horrible thought coming to his mind. 

“Harry! I … we need to have sex. Not right now, obviously, but ... like … I like sex with you, sex with you is good. I don’t want to stop. I’d like to continue shagging you, please.”

“Are you … are you sure, Lou? I don’t want it to be … I mean, I …” 

“Yes, I’m sure, you dolt. You loving me or not doesn’t change the fact that your dick feels amazing inside me and your arse feels just as amazing around me.”

“Umm … yeah, alright. Sounds good to me,” Harry shrugged, his voice becoming it’s normal cheery tone. He reached for the bottle of beer on the table in front of him and knocked it over, the liquid dripping out onto the table. “Oops.” They giggled again, Louis burying his head into Harry’s shoulder. “Can’t believe I’m nineteen, Lou. I’m getting old.” He sat and pouted, and it took everything Louis had not to kiss him, to make that pout disappear with his own lips. 

“You’re fucking perfect, yeah? Wish you knew how perfect I thought you were.” Louis sat back on his bum and watched out over the dancefloor as the song changed to something slower, couples grabbing each other, and he prayed that Harry wouldn’t up and leave for someone else right now. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle that. “Fucking hell, you ever think I’ll ever find someone special for me, Harold?”

“Yeah, course you will.” Louis leaned over and rested his head on Harry’s shoulder, shutting his eyes for a quick moment. 

“Fuck, ignore me. I need another drink.” Louis made to get up but he was stopped by Harry grabbing at his hips, pulling him back down into his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist, holding him in place. Louis couldn’t resist moving his hips slightly, knowing it was affecting Harry. “Oi, lemme go..”

“Nope. Think we’ve had enough, babe. Maybe we should just go home?”

Louis craned his head around, a bit surprised at Harry’s words. It was his party, and he wanted to leave already. That didn't seem right to Louis.

“But it’s your party. You’re the, like, main man. Without you, there is no party!” 

“I don’t care. I wanna take you home.”

“Whose home? Mine or yours?”

Harry shrugged again, pushing Louis up onto his feet before following him, shrugging on his shirt, not caring the come stain was probably obvious. “Doesn’t matter really. Home’s where you are.” 

He stumbled off into the crowd, no doubt to find Niall, and Louis stood, a little stunned, Harry’s words still sinking in. He knew Harry didn't love him, not in the way he loved Harry, but when Harry said silly things like that, Louis’ little candle of hope inside flickered ever so slightly, wondering if one day, just maybe, Harry could love him back, even just a little bit. Nothing wrong with a bit of hope, right?

*****

“Oh for fuck’s sakes, pass them here.” Louis snatched the keys from Harry’s hand and held them up to his face, trying to work out which one would unlock the door to Harry’s dorm. “You twat, that key is for my front door.” He flicked through the bunch, grabbing a small gold key. “See? Look, it’s this one. Watch.” He made a big show of pushing it into the lock and pulling the handle down with a flourish, revealing Harry’s room. “Ta da!”

“You are so fucking clever. If it weren’t for you, I’d be sleeping in the corridor.” Harry barged past Louis into the room, flicking on the light as he did so. The curtains weren’t drawn over the window yet and Louis could see their reflections as he walked into the room, turning and locking the door behind him. “I feel a bit shit, Lou.”

“Drink some water. Me mum always says drink a pint of water and you won’t have a banging head in the morning.” He walked to the little sink and filled a glass of water, turning to see Harry stripping off, already stood in just his boxers, his bulge a little enticing in Louis’ drunken state. “Fucking hell, not shy, are you?”

“Why would I be? You’ve seen it all before, you knob.” Louis nodded, knowing Harry was completely right. There wasn’t an inch of Harry’s body that he hadn’t seen, touched or licked probably. “Lou, are you gonna give me my present now? You’ve had that fucking bag with you all night, and I haven’t got to open it.”

“Yes! That is an  _ amazing _ idea, Harry. Not just a pretty face, are ya?” Harry puckered his lips and Louis pushed onto his tiptoes, too eager to give Harry a kiss. Usually, kisses were saved for sex, but he was happy to indulge the birthday boy. “Sit down on the bed.” Harry complied and Louis came and straddled his thighs, the little gift bag in his hand. “Right. I hope you like it. I chose it cos I was out and saw it, and thought it was very you.”

Harry took the bag and pecked Louis’ lips again before pulling out the little box, which wasn’t very well wrapped. He tore the paper off, throwing it down on the bed next to them, staring at the little box. He cocked an eyebrow at Louis, cracking open the box slowly. When the present was revealed, he gasped, lifting it out from the velvet cushion where it was sat.

“Fucking hell, Lou. It’s beautiful. I can’t believe you…”

He slid it on the middle finger of his right hand. He held his hand out and Louis looked at it, admiring how stunning it looked on Harry’s hand, just as he knew it would. He’d seen it in the windows of a little old jeweller’s shop in town, and the minute he’d noticed it, he knew it would be perfect for Harry. It was a second hand piece, a silver ring with three pieces of turquoise along the top. It was a chunky ring, not something Louis would wear, but it was so Harry, Louis couldn’t resist. He’d handed over his credit card to the little old man behind the desk, worrying about how he’d pay it off later on. Seeing Harry’s smile as he looked at the ring was everything, and he knew he’d done the right thing.

“You like it?”

“Like it? I fucking love it. You’re just.. You’re amazing, you know that?”

“Happy birthday, Hazza.” 

Harry gave him a sweet smile before his hands came down to rest on Louis’ hips, swaying him side to side slightly. “Do I get a birthday kiss, then?”

“If you want one,” Louis retorted with a shrug, trying to ignore what was happening in his trousers at their close proximity, and how Harry was initiating yet another kiss with him. “Come on then, Styles.”

Harry pulled Louis close and kissed him gently, their lips staying pressed together for a moment before they started to move, eyes shutting and heads tilting as they lost themselves in it. Harry tasted like the cocktails he’d been drinking all night, and Louis parted his lips, moaning low in his throat when Harry’s tongue slipped inside, working over his own, teasing him, making him want more.

“Wanna thank you properly,” Harry whispered, pulling Louis’ hand down to rest on his cock, hard again within his tight jeans. “What do you want, Lou?”

“You choose,” Louis mumbled, his mind a bit of a drunken haze, too horny to think straight. Part of him was screaming that this wasn’t a good idea, especially now Harry knew he was in love with him, but the other part, the part that controlled his cock and his libido was pushing those thoughts away, telling Louis to do what he wanted, to be with Harry again. “It’s your birthday...”

“Well, I think I wanna…” Harry trailed off, kissing up Louis’ cheek and jaw, biting his earlobe gently before he whispered his next words. “Wanna ride you, Lou. Want you to watch me take your cock…”

“Fuck, yes please.” Louis crashed their lips together again, all manner of lucid thought entirely out of the window now. Their kisses quickly became desperate and dirty, Harry’s hands pulling at Louis’ clothes, tugging them off as best he could in their awkward position. In the end, Louis got to his feet and pulled off his jeans and boxers, standing naked in front of Harry. He wrapped a hand around his length, watching Harry do the same. 

“Get on your hands and knees, quick.” Harry’s voice was gruff and Louis didn't dare to argue. Instead, he quickly did as he was told, not caring how exposed he was. He watched to the side as Harry rifled around in his bedside drawer, grabbing the lube and sitting behind him on his knees. Louis shivered in anticipation of what was to come, and he’d just shut his eyes when Harry’s hot breath hit his hole, his lips touching it next. “Fuck, you look so good for me like that… you’re gorgeous everywhere, you know that?”

Louis mumbled out something he was sure wasn’t English, and shut his eyes, resting his forehead against the pillow as Harry’s tongue dived between his cheeks, licking and tasting eagerly, sending Louis wild with desire. The bed was moving behind him too, and Louis was sure Harry was opening himself up at the same time… a man of many talents, Louis had decided. Everything Harry was doing was setting every inch of Louis’ body on fire, and he didn't bother to hold in his noises, letting Harry know how good he was making him feel.

“Oh god… so good, make me feel fucking good, Haz… can’t wait to see you on my cock-”

“Louis…” Louis looked back over his shoulder at that, and was shocked at what a mess Harry was. His face was wet with his own spit, and his arm was bent around at an awkward angle, opening himself up, eyes almost rolling back in his head at the pleasure. Louis could only watch as Harry leaned back in, and he whined loudly when Harry’s tongue licked around his rim before he pushed inside slightly, making Louis’ body shudder. It was so much yet not quite enough at the same time.. Louis needed Harry now.

“Wanna fuck you, baby… you ready?” Harry pressed a few quick kisses to Louis’ most intimate area before a hand slapped at Louis’ ass, getting his attention. Louis carefully flipped himself onto his back, stroking his cock as he settled back on the pillows, watching Harry, who was still fingering himself. “You look so fucking good like this, getting ready for me, hmm?”

Harry just nodded and slipped his fingers out, wiping them on the bed before he crawled up Louis’ body. Their cocks were against each other, and Harry reached down, wrapping his big hand around them, both of them looking down at it. Harry’s hand moved up and down their thick shafts slowly, knowing if he went too hard, they’d come and there wouldn’t be any sex. Louis loved it when Harry did this… the sensation of Harry’s hand around his cock, Harry’s cock against his… it was a lot but it was so good. The heads were shy with precome and already, Louis couldn’t wait to bury himself inside Harry.

“Gonna show you how much I like your present…” Harry mumbled, both of them looking down at the ring on his hand, the hand that was wrapped around their cocks. It was obscene in a way, how the heads appeared over and over in Harry’s fist as he touched them, twisting slightly at the tip, collecting the pre-come from Louis’ cock with his thumb, making him cry out. He released them and shuffled forwards on his knees, hovering above Louis’ cock, a hand around the base. He sank down slowly, a low groan slipping past his lips as his body took Louis in, his own cock jutting away from his body. “Oh Louis…”

“Yeah, baby… take me so well, so good at riding my cock, aren’t you?” Harry just nodded, eyes shutting as he finally bottomed out, resting his bum on Louis’ hips, the two completely joined. His hips moved in slightly circles, getting used to the stretch, stroking himself too to keep himself hard. Louis just laid back and enjoyed the show, Harry’s body completely on display to him. He stretched out his arms, resting his hands on Harry’s long thighs, making Harry open his eyes, smiling slightly at him. “Feels good?”

“Yeah, so good..” Harry mumbled, his voice a bit shaky by now. His hands came up to rest on Louis’ chest, supporting his weight as he used his thighs to raise himself up before slamming back down, making them both groan out in pleasure. Louis just watched Harry’s body, fully on display for him as his muscles rippled, hard cock bobbing heavily in front of him as Harry took what he needed, riding Louis for all he was worth. 

“Look so fucking amazing riding me, you’re beautiful, Harry…” Louis didn't care that the words were slightly soppy for the mood and the sex they were having. He wanted Harry to know how he felt, and the feel of the cool metal of Harry’s new ring on his hand was a lot, heightening every sensation he was feeling. “Want me to make you come, baby?”

He was surprised when Harry shook his head, curls flying around on top of his head as his eyes shut again, focusing on the feeling of Louis inside him. “No… wanna come from your cock, just your cock, please, Lou-”

“Okay, baby, want you to do that. Make a mess of yourself for me, all over me, yeah?” Harry nodded again and picked up his pace, fingertips digging into Louis’ skin, probably leaving small bruises that Louis would find on his skin for the next few days, not that he minded. He ran his hands up, pinching and pulling at Harry’s nipples, making him whimper as he rode him, although Louis was sure he was tiring. “Need some help, love?”

“Fuck me, Louis-”

“I’ve got you, love.” Louis wriggled slightly and planted his feet on the bed, giving him a position to fuck up into Harry. Harry raised himself on his knees slightly, head hung down as Louis started to move, pistoning his hips up, pushing his cock deep into Harry’s body over and over again. All that could be heard in the room was the slap of their skin and their heavy breaths, both too lost in their own worlds to even speak for now.

As Louis approached his orgasm, Harry surprised him by lowering his body, pressing his bare and sweaty chest to Louis’ and capturing his lips in a kiss. It meant for shallower thrusts from Louis but somehow, it was so much better. Their tongues were hungry and eager, wet lips gliding together as their bodies rocked, the mattress creaking lightly beneath their joint weight. Louis felt like he never wanted to move away from where he was right now as Harry slowed their kisses, cradling Louis’ face as they neared their climax. It took everything Louis had to keep the words threatening to burst out inside of him as Harry clenched around his cock, forcing Louis over the edge.

Louis didn't say anything but kept kissing Harry, releasing hard into him, Harry’s hips still rocking gently, the flood of come making everything easier. Louis didn't stop, his cock nudging deep against Harry’s spot, and Louis bit down on Harry’s lip, staring deep into his eyes. Harry came over their stomachs, trembling as his orgasm wracked through his body, collapsing down onto Louis’ chest, his hand reaching for Louis’, linking their fingers. Louis stayed where he was, beneath Harry’s body until he became sore, gently manoeuvering himself out of Harry, letting his body roll over next to him.

“Happy birthday, darling,” Louis whispered, reaching across to stroke down Harry’s spine, trailing through the light covering of sweat littering his skin. A small smile crossed Harry’s lips, his eyes still shut as he finally started to give in to sleep, breaths coming in small puffs that drifted over to Louis’ face. He sat up slightly, trying not to stir Harry, ignoring the cooling pool of come on his flat stomach. He sighed and looked down at Harry, stroking his hair out of his face. He was sound asleep by now, and Louis knew he couldn’t stay.

He slipped quietly from the bed, using tissues to clean himself up before he got dressed, and recovered Harry with the duvet, not wanting him to get cold. His right hand was next to his cheek, and Louis admired the ring once more, how much it suited his best friend. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Harry’s forehead as he slid his phone into his back pocket, readying himself to leave, no matter how much he didn't want to. 

“I love you, Harry, I just…” he sighed again, standing up and walking over to the door. He turned back, eyes on his sleeping friend, wishing Harry truly knew how he felt. “Shit… all I do is want you… I love you.” With those final whispered words, he slipped out of the door, wondering how much longer he could keep up the facade of this whole thing. How much longer could it be worth it?

*****

_ Four days later _

“Please ensure you read pages two hundred and seventy through to three hundred and twenty five in preparation for your lecture on Friday. Any questions, you all have my email. See you then, happy reading.” 

The volume in the lecture theatre rose hugely as everyone stood up, chatting to their friends sat around them as they were dismissed. Louis sat for a moment, collecting his text book, notebook and pens together, shoving them in his battered but beloved rucksack, waiting for the majority of people to leave before he made his way out. There was no point in getting crushed in the rush to leave, especially since Louis didn't have anything to get home for anyway.

Before he left, he grabbed his phone from his pocket, trying not to relay how sad he was with his face when he realised he still hadn’t heard from Harry. It had been four days since the party, and he hadn’t heard from Harry at all. Louis had had the most awful hangover the morning after as he recalled everything that had happened at the party… him and Harry hooking up in the toilet, Louis’ drunken declaration of love, and then sex back in Harry’s room. Louis didn't regret the sex, or the amazing blow job in the toilets, no way. But telling Harry he loved him, while drunk? That he very much did regret, and he was sure that was why Harry was avoiding him. He’d ruined everything, and for what?

He was startled when he snapped out of his funk to see the lecture hall was now empty and he hitched his rucksack up onto his shoulder, carefully climbing down the steps and heading out into the main campus. There were students milling around everywhere as usual, and Louis put his head down, hoping not to bump into anyone he knew as he headed out, wanting to just get home and get into his comfortable clothes and chill on the sofa for a while, maybe watch some Netflix to waste some time.

He decided to treat himself to a tea for the chilly journey home and pushed the door to his favourite student café open, joining the back of the queue as his phone pinged. He pulled it out from his pocket, hoping it was Harry, but his heart fell when he saw it was just his sister, asking when he was next home. He replied and put the phone away as he reached the front of the queue, placing his order and paying with his debit card, not one for carrying cash. He moved away to wait for his drink and looked around, raising a hand to wave at a few familiar faces.

“White tea?”

“That’s me, cheers,” Louis said as he took the drink, heading for the door. He was just about to leave when the door swung open, and there he was. Harry was stood on the other side, eyes fixed on his phone, holding the door open. Louis stopped, unsure whether to speak, and was just about to slip by when Harry glanced up, his face lighting up when he saw who it was.

“Lou! I’ve missed you!” Harry reached out and grabbed Louis’ arm, pulling him out and straight into his arms. Louis stiffened for a moment, feeling awkward around his best friend for the first time but soon relaxed into the familiar embrace, inhaling Harry’s scent, resting his head on his chest quickly before he stood up, the tea getting a bit hot now in his right hand. “How have you been?”

“Uh, good, busy, you know how it is… life of a third year,” he said with an eye roll and Harry nodded eagerly, tucking his hair behind his ear. Louis couldn’t help but notice his ring still wrapped around Harry’s finger. “Haven’t heard from you-”

“Oh shit, I know, it’s been manic! I had such a shitty hangover from my party, and then I had three assignments to do, then Niall needed my help with something as well. Honestly, I’ve not had five minutes to myself. I was gonna text you today, actually.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, wanted to meet up for a drink or something. Wish I could stay now but I was gonna grab something and head to my lecture. You free tomorrow or something?”

“That’d be cool. Text me tomorrow, we’ll sort something. Here, have my tea.” He handed Harry the cup, a stunned expression taking over Harry’s face at the gesture. “It’s a cuppa, Haz, I can get one at home. Go on, take it.”

“Best mate ever,” Harry grinned, holding it in both hands. “Oh, there’s Owen, I’d better dash, Lou! See you later!” He leaned in and kissed Louis’ cheek quickly before he pushed his way through the crowd, greeting his fellow student with a manly hug. Louis silently seethed, turning away and stalking off down the path, getting away from Harry as quickly as he could. Clearly, what Louis had said at the party hadn’t affected Harry in the slightest. He didn't care. He certainly didn't love Louis back, not in the way he so badly wanted. Things had to change. 

Louis pulled out his phone and tapped out the second most used contact in his list, dialling and walking at the quickest pace he could, quickly changing his direction. “Z? You home?” He looked left and right before he crossed the road, his feet guiding him in the right direction. “Good. I’m coming round, I can’t do this shit anymore. See you in five.”

*****

Needless to say, Louis didn't meet Harry the next day as they’d planned. Harry had text him but Louis had cried off with a stomach bug, curling up in bed with a book instead, feeling incredibly sorry for himself. To add insult to injury, the book had been crap and Louis had turned it over to the Uni’s book exchange the next day, wishing he hadn’t wasted hours of his life reading it. He’d also successfully avoided bumping into Harry on campus, knowing his schedule well enough to stay away from his usual haunts, choosing to slink off home after lectures rather than retreating to the library as usual. Zayn was the only person he chose to see, and even then, it was only when Zayn forced his presence on Louis.

As much as it was killing Louis to stay away from Harry like this, both in terms of their friendship and the fact he was horny and frustrated, he knew it was the right thing. He’d been honest with Zayn and had told him about what had happened at the party, how he’d given Harry his present and they’d slept together again, but it seemed Harry didn't care Louis had put everything on the line confessing his love. Worst of all, it seemed Harry just wasn’t at all bothered Louis was breaking inside, and had barely bothered with him. Zayn understood Louis was backing off to protect himself, and encouraged Louis’ self-exile. 

Louis had seen plenty of pictures of Harry out with his friends, at the pub and playing pool in the dorm on Instagram, and he’d resisted liking them, wishing he could be in those pictures too rather than sat under a blanket, a pot noodle on his lap, lonely beyond measure. He realised how much he’d pushed his other friends away in order to spend time with Harry before, and now that was coming back to bite him on the arse. He was really alone, and consequently spent many evenings on FaceTime with his little sisters, trying to cheer himself up.

It was a gloomy Thursday morning when Louis heard from Harry next. Louis ignored the phone for a good hour after it had pinged, but when five pings in a row came through, Louis worried it might be someone else and glanced at it, heart breaking at what he saw.

**Harry:** Louis, are you about? I just… I need my best friend. Xx

**Harry:** Louis, please.x

**Harry:** I really need you :( xx

**Harry:** Dusty died, and I feel really sad and need a hug :(

**Harry:** Sorry to bother you. X

“Shit.” Louis fumbled with his passcode, taking three attempts to get it unlocked and into his message app, tapping out a message to Harry, hoping he wasn’t too late to get hold of him, that he hadn’t found someone else. No matter what was going on between the two of them, Louis knew that if Harry needed him, he’d be there in a heartbeat, and he knew it worked both ways too.

**Louis:** Oh babe, I’m so sorry. I’ll be over in ten minutes. Sorry, I was having a nap. Ready for some cuddles. Xxxx

It only took a few seconds for Louis’ phone to ping with a reply.

**Harry:** Thank you, can’t wait to see you. Xxxx

Louis flung the blankets off and walked into the hallway, pulling his coat on and shoving a beanie on top of his head, knowing Harry wouldn’t give a damn what he looked like. Nor did he, not really. Comforting Harry was the priority and Louis headed out, walking as quickly as he could to Harry’s dorm, letting himself in with the code Harry had given him just a week after meeting so Louis could get in any time, day or night.

Louis smiled at a few students he recognised as he climbed the two flights of stairs up to Harry’s room, knocking before he walked in, knowing Harry was expecting him anyway. What he hadn’t expected to see was Harry curled up on his side in bed, crying into the pillow, a few balled up tissues littering the floor next to his bed. Louis’ heart fell and he pushed the door shut, shrugging off his coat and leaving it on Harry’s chair, toeing his shoes off by the desk.

“Budge up, sweetheart, I’m here now.” Harry did and Louis laid down behind him, not surprised when Harry quickly rolled over, facing Louis and pulling him close, tucking his head under his chin to make him as small as he could. His body shook with his tears and Louis could do nothing but lay there, holding his best friend tightly, stroking his back, letting him cry. Louis knew how much Harry loved his cat, and the devastation he felt was real, surely made all the more painful by the fact he hadn’t been there to say goodbye.

Eventually, Harry’s tears dried up, and he reached for the hem of Louis’ old t-shirt, using it to wipe his eyes, sniffing and finally meeting Louis’ eyes for the first time. They shared a small smile, and Louis reached over to push Harry’s hair out of his face, taking the chance to touch his cheek as he did so. 

“I’m so sorry about Dusty, love. I know how much she meant to you. What happened?”

Harry swallowed and sniffed again, looking at Louis as he spoke, voice gruff and low with emotion. “Mum said she was, uh, she was hit by a car. She took her to the vet but there was nothing they could do. I know it’s stupid, Lou, but I miss her so much-” He broke off then, full of emotion as tears started to silently fall down his cheeks. “Shit, can’t stop fucking crying, sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry, Haz. You loved her, and it’s normal to feel sad. It’s a horrible thing to find out, especially when you’re far away from home. Did you want me to come back to Holmes Chapel with you, see your mum or anything?” Harry shook his head, resting his head against Louis’ shoulder again. “Sure?”

“Yeah. Mum said there’s nothing I can do there anyway, I’ll go back for term break. I just… I needed you today. I know we haven’t seen much of each other, that you’ve been avoiding me, but you’re my best friend, Lou. There’s no one else I wanted to tell… to ask for comfort.”

“Well, I’m glad you’ve got me, love. I’m always here if you need me.”

There was silence then, and Louis couldn’t help but feel that there was a charged atmosphere all of a sudden. Harry was looking at him with a peculiar expression, and Louis just smiled, running his fingers up and down Harry’s bare arm.

“Is there anything else I can-”

He was cut off by Harry’s lips meeting his own, and Louis just stilled, letting Harry kiss him, not entirely sure how to react. Harry’s hand was cupping the back of his neck gently, not letting him escape, but he slowly stopped the kiss, looking down, avoiding Louis’ gaze.

“Shit, I, uh, I’m sorry-” He went to move but Louis brought his arm over Harry’s side, holding him in place, not about to let him run away. “Louis-”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay, Haz. I understand, love. If it’s what you need…” Harry’s eyes flew up at those words, meeting Louis’. His green eyes were still glassy with tears, and he blinked slowly,  hand reaching down to link his fingers with Louis’ between their bodies.

Harry seemed hesitant but he spoke, voice soft and low. “I, uh… can we? Please? I wanna be close with you, Lou. I need you.”

“Of course. Whatever you need, sweetheart.” Louis decided to take the leap then and leaned in, kissing Harry softly and with intent, just a press of their lips. Harry went soft in Louis’ arms, relaxing entirely as they kissed slowly. It felt different to every other time they’d kissed, somehow, and Louis let his eyes drift shut, holding onto the emotionally fragile boy tightly, determined to give him whatever it is he needed to feel okay. It was Harry who deepened the kiss, letting his tongue find entry into Louis’ mouth, massaging Louis’ gently, teasing and turning the pair of them on. Their bodies started to rock together gently, Harry pushing his leg between Louis’, lining them up as they moved together, no words being spoken - their bodies did the talking for them.

It didn't take long for them to get hard against each other, Harry’s erection pressing firmly against Louis’ thigh as they kept kissing, the way they were holding off from what they truly wanted making them both desperate. It was Harry who made the next move, pulling Louis’ body on top of his, hands on his hips as he guided him down, both moaning when their hard cocks were pressed together, still restricted by their clothes. Louis’ eyes flew open and he stared into Harry’s, full of something Louis couldn’t quite identify.

“Take my clothes off,” Harry whispered after a few more minutes of grinding and heavy kissing, hands touching under layers of cotton. Louis nodded and sat back on his knees, pulling Harry up with him. Harry raised his arms and let Louis pull his shirt over his head, baring his torso and his inked skin. Louis couldn’t stop himself from reaching out, touching Harry’s bare chest. “Louis…”

“Sorry, I… you’re very distracting. Lay back.” Harry did as he was told, and Louis wriggled his tight jeans down, letting Harry kick them off before he pulled off his socks, now just in his tight black boxers that weren’t doing very much to conceal Harry’s obvious arousal. “These?”

“Everything. And you. Take your clothes off too, please?” Louis nodded and stripped himself down to his underwear, both men knelt opposite each other now. Harry leaned in and kissed Louis again, but pulled away quickly, leaving Louis hungry for more. Harry’s finger grabbed the waistband of Louis’ boxers, pulling them down until they were halfway down his thighs, leaving Louis exposed for him. “You’re so fucking gorgeous, Louis.”

Louis blushed and quickly reached forwards, tugging Harry’s underwear down too, the pair of them naked now. Harry fumbled under his pillow and produced a bottle of lube, presenting it to Louis who took it, pushing Harry gently back down onto the mattress and spreading his thighs, taking a moment to take in the vision of Harry like this, wanting just Louis. Only Louis.

Harry whimpered and moaned as Louis opened him up with his fingers, trying to distract Harry by taking him in his mouth, loving how Harry was falling apart because of him and what he was doing to his body. It wasn’t long before Harry was begging for more, grabbing Louis’ wrist and stopping him, eyes dark and hungry for something else. Louis just nodded and wiped off his mouth and fingers, blinking down at Harry.

Just as he was about to push in, Harry grabbed Louis’ hand and held it tightly, his eyes on him as their bodies were joined. Louis was slow and careful, taking his time with Harry, keen for him to feel every ounce of pleasure he could, knowing what he needed. He bottomed out and paused, letting Harry pull him down into a kiss. Louis couldn’t deny the kissing was stirring up yet more feelings in him, but what was different was that Harry kept kissing Louis as they started to move, Louis’ hips rocking into Harry. They kissed during sex before, sure, but it was quick and dirty kisses, broken by dirty words and love bites.

Harry was clinging to Louis for all he was worth, long legs wrapped around Louis’ waist, drawing him in deeper with each thrust, tongue insistently playing with Louis’. It was so much, and all of Louis’ senses felt heightened, like he was on the precipice of something he’d never experienced before. The sunlight was blazing through Harry’s window, lighting up his body and Louis thought he looked ethereal, like another world being, something to be revered and worshipped. 

“More, please-”

Harry was begging and Louis looked down, nodding before he kissed him again, just because he could. He picked up the pace a little, knowing what Harry needed and squeezed his hand, keeping Harry’s attention entirely on him, on what they were doing. 

“Louis, I.. oh god, please-” Harry’s eyes drifted shut and Louis wasn’t having that, not at the pivotal part of the most passionate sex he’d ever had with Harry, his favourite person in the whole world. 

“Look at me, Harry, open your eyes.”

Harry complied, and their eyes never left each other as they chased their imminent orgasms, chests heaving against each others, Harry’s bed rocking with them. Louis’ orgasm hit him like an explosion, wracking through his body, coloured lights exploding behind his eyes as he released with a cry, entirely overwhelmed with what he was feeling. He keep his hips moving, knowing he wanted to fuck Harry through his own climax, to be inside him while he came.

“Louis… fuck, Louis… I… ah!” Louis looked down in time to see Harry come, painting his own stomach in strips of pearly white, back arching, drawing Louis’ sensitive cock deeper inside. His heels were digging in the base of Louis’ spine, and Louis was shaking with the exertion of holding him up. “Shit… hug me, now-”

Louis dropped down, Harry hissing as his spent cock was squished between them but neither man moved, still coming down from their highs, bodies still intimately joined. Louis was too aware of how that had felt completely different to the usual sex they indulged in but he didn't dare risk bringing it up and scaring Harry off, not now.

He soon became too sore to stay inside Harry and pulled out, eyes dipping to see how Harry’s body was open because of him, hands resting gently on his inner thighs, appreciating how soft Harry’s skin was in the place only he got to see. Louis stood on shaky legs and pulled the curtains across, dimming light in the room enough to fool them into thinking it was later than it was. Just as he reached for his shirt, Harry’s hand shot out, touching Louis’ hip.

“Stay, please? I just.. I don’t wanna be alone, Lou. Want you to stay and hold me, to be here with me?”

In that moment, naked and curled up, Harry looked younger than his nineteen years, and very fragile. Louis knew he could never say no and nodded, slipping back behind Harry and lifting the sheet over them, curling himself around Harry, making him the little spoon.

“Always there for me, my Loubear. Always want you to be here with me, always gonna need my Lou.” He was mumbling sleepily, but Louis was ridiculously endeared, smiling against Harry’s shoulder blades, pressing a quick kiss to Harry’s skin.

“I’ll always be here for you, as long as you need me,” Louis mumbled against his back,  muffling the words slightly.

“Promise?” Harry looked back over his shoulder, blinking slowly, waiting for an answer.

“I promise. I’ll always be here.” Harry’s hand squeezed Louis’ at that and held it tight, the pair of them exhausted now. Louis decided he’d rest for a few minutes, letting his eyes shut as Harry’s body kept him warm, the pair losing themselves to some much needed sleep, limbs tangled together, Louis holding Harry in his arms, where he wished he could always stay. For now, he’d take what he could get, and right now, he was where he wanted to be.

*****

Louis stirred what felt like just an hour or so later, frowning as he blinked into the darkness. He stretched out, careful not to disturb Harry and looked back at Harry’s clock on his desk, shocked to see it read gone 8pm. It wasn’t late, but considering he’d arrived at Harry’s at just after one and they’d then had sex, it meant they’d fallen asleep together and stayed that way for probably six hours or so. Shit.

Harry was snoring softly and Louis slid his arm out from under Harry’s head, trying not to jostle him too much. They’d never fallen asleep together like that before, bodies curled up together, entirely vulnerable and Louis wasn’t sure how to feel. He’d purposely never allowed that to happen, knowing it was too much of a couples thing to do, and knowing Harry didn't feel the same had stopped Louis from wanting to make things any harder on himself than it had to be.

He glanced down at the sleeping body next to him, sighing heavily. He knew Harry had needed him and that was fine, but honestly, this was too much. Harry had everything he wanted, sex on tap, a best friend, and someone to turn for comfort. That was fine. Louis loved being Harry’s best friend, but it just wasn’t enough. Not anymore. Falling asleep together, waking up with Harry in his arms… it was everything Louis ever wanted, and it felt cruel to have it, knowing that it didn't mean the same for Harry.

This couldn’t happen again. Somehow, it felt like what they’d done just a few hours ago was the perfect way to say goodbye. Louis had finally had a chance to have slow, tender sex with Harry, the kind he’d secretly always wanted and Harry had let him, had been open and vulnerable, trusting and wanting Louis to take care of him. If that was the last time Louis got to have sex with Harry, he couldn’t ask for anything more. It had been perfect, and Louis felt tears stinging at the back of his eyes with that realisation. He had to walk away, if only to protect himself.

He slid carefully out of bed and grabbed his clothes, switching his shirt for one of Harry’s, needing something to take with him. He carefully folded his own, leaving it on Harry’s desk, not sure if he’d want a reminder of Louis or not after what he was about to do. He grabbed a piece of notepaper from Harry’s desk and a pen, scrawling messily in the dark, determined to slip away without being noticed. He left it on top of his shirt and covered Harry over again, kissing his hand, his ring, before he headed for the door for the last time. He took one final glance at Harry and felt a tear snake down his cheek as he pushed the handle down, finally walking away from the man he loved.

_ Haz, _

_ I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. I know I said I would, but I can’t. It hurts too much to be close to you, and to not be able to love you as I want to.  _

_ You’re my best friend, but I need some space right now. I need to deal with my feelings, and to, well, get over you, I guess. It hurt too much to wake up with you in my arms, knowing I’m not whatt you want when you’re all I’ll ever need. _

_ I’m sorry, but for now it has to be this way.  _

_ Take care.  _

_ Your Lou. xx _

_ ***** _

**Harry:** _ Louis, please stop ignoring me, please. I want to talk. X _

**Harry:** _ You got class today? Want to meet for a tea after? Xx _

**Harry:** _ Went shopping today and bought those crisps that you like. Miss you coming round :( xx _

**Harry:** _ I hate this. I’m sorry. Don’t push me away, please. _

**Harry:** _ I miss you. X _

Over a week had passed, and Harry had been miserable ever since he’d woken up after the most loving sex he’d ever shared with another person, only to find that Louis had gone. Not just gone, but he’d walked out of Harry’s life with a shitty note, and a t-shirt that smelt so viscerally of Louis, he’d sobbed into it, clutching it in his fists as he cried for everything he’d lost, for how alone he felt. Harry hadn’t felt right since, and had stumbled from lecture to seminar to study group in a bit of a haze, entirely not himself. His friends had noticed but Harry hadn’t been able to bring himself to go out with anyone, choosing to wallow in his room, wearing Louis’ t-shirt, texting him endless messages that went read and unresponded to.

“Oi, Styles, wakey wakey.” Harry jumped as a bag of crisps flew at his shoulder, falling to the floor beside him in Niall’s room. He looked up and sighed, picking them up and dumping them on the chair next to him, not hungry at all. “Come on, stop fucking moping, you’re making me depressed, I swear.”

“Sorry, Ni,” Harry mumbled, trying to refocus his attention on the textbook in front of him, knowing he had an important exam in just two days time. Given Harry had barely looked at the words floating around on the page in front of him, chances of passing it weren’t good. “Not hungry but thanks anyway.”

“You gotta quit this moping, Haz. You still feeling rough about Louis?”

Harry just shrugged, not quite sure how much to admit to Niall. His mate had assumed they’d had a falling out over something, and Harry hadn’t brought himself to correct him and admit the real reason for things just yet. It meant opening a can of worms Harry wasn’t ready to deal with just yet, let alone admitting to Niall he’d been having sex with Louis for the past few months. “Dunno. Have you, uh, have you seen him around at all?”

“Louis?”

Harry answered with a nod.

“Yeah, a few times. With Zayn, around campus, you know? But if it helps, he seems as fucking miserable as you are. What’s gone on between you two?”

“Nothing, just- doesn’t matter, Ni.”

“Fine. You still got me though, you know that. Come on, let’s get this done then we’ll go and grab a pizza or something as a treat. I might even let you share my sour cream dip if you’re really lucky.”

Harry laughed at that, finally putting a smile on his face. He felt lucky to have Niall, and although they were close, it still didn't come close to the level he was at with Louis. Although he missed the sex, it was more than that, and Harry wasn’t sure he could put his finger on what it was. He missed their easy banter in texts, late night phone calls, and even just Louis’ hugs.”Yeah, alright then. Pass us that highlighter, would you?”

Niall chucked it Harry’s way and bent back over his books, revising like mad, but Harry couldn’t bring himself to revise, not until he’d text Louis. He was fairly sure the message would go read and unanswered as the rest of them had, but he had to text him, to tell him he was thinking of him. Again.

**Harry:** _ I miss you, Louis. I miss us being friends. I wonder if you do too.  _

*****

Harry’s feet slammed against the pavement as he tried to keep up with the beat of the Imagine Dragons track blasting through his ear phones, putting some distance between himself and his dorm. It was fairly early, for students anyway, especially considering Harry didn't even have any lectures or classes today. Either way, he hadn’t been able to sleep and had tossed and turned in bed until he could stay there no more, and had decided to blow off some cobwebs with an early morning run around campus.

He passed a few friends, smiling but not stopping, intent on running until it hurt, until he felt something. Despite a few more texts, he still hadn’t heard from Louis, and the silence was starting to hurt. Harry couldn’t work out what he’d done wrong, and the way Louis was ignoring him was painful. Even though he was hurting, Harry knew he’d take Louis back and forgive him in a heartbeat if he came knocking, but that was looking less and less likely as time went on.

He ran until he saw one of the campus shops and decided to go in to grab a bottle of water. It was only mid-February, but it was unusually warm, and Harry was sweating, feeling trickles of it run down his bag and into his shorts. He left his music playing as he grabbed a bottle, taking it to the self-checkout. He paid quickly using Apple Pay and stood outside, downing half of it in a few gulps. As he was about to put his phone back into his armband, it vibrated again and he hurried to open it, hoping it was Louis.

**Vince:** _ You thought about taking my offer yet, Styles? Still up for a bit of fun if you are? _

Harry sighed and quickly deleted the message, knowing he wasn’t at all interested in a bit of fun or otherwise with Vince, one of the guys in his class. The only person he was interested in being intimate with was Louis, and although he was frustrated and horny as hell, he’d rather wait until he sorted things out with his best friend than jumping into bed with the first guy that offered him some. Just as he walked over to the bin to throw away the now empty bottle, a familiar silhouette caught his eye and he stilled, holding his hand up to his eyes to shield them from the glaring morning sun. 

It was Louis, his usual rucksack hung over his shoulder, the Ray Bans Harry loved on him so much on his face. He looked beautiful, if a little miserable, and Harry was all set to run over and finally make conversation with him when something happened that stopped him straight in his tracks. He swallowed heavily, unable to move or drag his eyes away from what was happening, and pressed himself to the wall, hoping now that Louis wouldn’t see him either.

A much taller, broader man stepped out of the door behind Louis and slung his arm around Louis’ shoulders, dragging him close. Louis was clearly laughing, and he leaned into the man as they stood talking to Zayn, and someone else Harry didn't recognise. There was something bubbling low in Harry’s belly as he watched, and he bit his lip, staying out of sight. They seemed to be having a conversation about something and soon Zayn and the other person disappeared, leaving Louis alone with this stranger. Harry had a weird feeling like he wanted to protect Louis, to run over and stop him from being touched but he stayed where he was, not liking at all what he was seeing.

Louis turned around and tilted his chin up the man, nodding as they both spoke, and Harry could make out the curve of Louis’ butt in his tight jeans, the way he pushed up onto his tiptoes to press a kiss to the other’s man cheek before he turned and walked in the opposite direction, away from Harry. Harry let out a breath and leaned his head back against the wall. So Louis had moved on. He’d found someone else he’d rather hang out with, and Harry wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He wished he could see who the stranger was, but from this angle, he didn't stand a hope of seeing his face.

He pushed himself off the wall in a surge of anger and ran as fast as he could back towards the dorms, angry rock music blasting in his ears now, and he tried as hard as he could to push the images of Louis kissing the stranger out of his mind, even if it was only on the cheek. Harry soon arrived back at the dorm and fumbled with the keypad, inputting the wrong code three times before he finally got it right, stalking towards Niall’s room and slamming the door open, thumping the wall behind it, making Niall jump.

“Fucking hell, what’s got up your arse?”

“What’s got up my arse?! Louis and his fucking new boyfriend, that’s what, Niall!”

Niall frowned and put his laptop down on the bed, eyes following Harry’s pacing form around the room. He didn't say anything for a moment but eventually spoke softly, not wanting to anger Harry anymore than he already was. 

“Um, not meaning to be rude or anything, but why do you care if Louis’ got a boyfriend or not?”

Harry glared at his friend, hands on his hips, sweat still running down his neck and back from his run, his breathing starting to go back to normal.

“I don’t fucking care, Niall. Louis can fuck who he likes, I don’t give a shit. But that guy looked like a dick, I just didn't like him.” He slumped down on Niall’s desk chair, not wanting to get the bed dirty with his sweat. “Louis shouldn’t be hanging around with him.”

“Right, if you say so.” Niall stood up and rummaged in his cupboard, emerging with a packet of Mini Cheddars he held out to Harry. “Mini Cheddars? Cheer up, mate. You and Lou’ll sort it out, whatever’s going between the two of you. Don’t forget we’re meeting Liam for drinks later on.” Harry went to speak but Niall got in there first, knowing his best friend too well. “And yes, you are coming. Might cheer you up if you find someone new to talk to, help you get over Lou.”

“Don’t wanna get over Lou, just want him back,” Harry mumbled as he pulled the bag of food open, stuffing a few cheddars into his mouth. But the longer the radio silence with Louis went on, the more it seemed liked healing things wasn’t a possibility. Harry was just beginning to think he really might have lost Louis forever.

*****

“Cocktail, Haz?” 

Harry shook his head, staying in his seat. He wasn’t really in the mood to be out and about but Niall had literally dragged him back to his dorm room to get changed later that afternoon, and Harry had been shoved into the shower, Niall stealing all his clothes so he couldn’t get back until he was convinced he’d been in there long enough to get ready. Harry had reluctantly pulled on a shirt he knew Louis said looked good on him, and his ripped black jeans with his suede boots. He wasn’t looking his best, but Harry didn't really care. He wasn’t out to pull anyone anyway, so what did it matter.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll have a fanta, please. Sticking to soft drinks tonight, want a clear head in the morning.”

“Suit yourself,” Liam replied with a smile, heading off with Niall towards the bar.  Harry sat on his own, staring at his silent phone as he waited for his friends to return. There were people all around him having fun but Harry couldn’t bring himself to get up and join in with their jollity. He’d rather sit there in their little booth and ignore everyone else and wallow in his own self-pity.

Liam pushed a tall glass towards Harry and he took it with a small sip, sipping through the black straw sticking out of the glass. Liam and Niall were chatting about some football match they’d watched earlier in the week on TV, and Harry zoned out a bit, not in the least bit interested in the game. The only time it ever seemed fascinating was when he was watching Louis play or talk about the game. Now, he was bored to tears and if he was honest, he just wanted to go home.

“Oh, did you guys hear Martin finally asked Louis out on a date? And he said yes?” Liam grinned gleefully into his drink as he divulged the latest gossip, and Harry didn't miss how Niall’s eyes flitted over to him, watching for a reaction. “He’s been working up the courage for ages to talk to Lou, I can’t believe he said yes.”

“Martin? That twat from our dorm? Are you being serious?”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure he’s a twat, Haz… you okay? Sorry, should I not have said anything?” Liam looked a little worried now, but Harry brushed him off, determined that he wasn’t going to upset any more of his friends over his little annoyances. 

“Nah, it’s fine. I just hope he’s not a dick with Lou, that’s all.” He glared at Niall then, willing him not to say anything, at least not in front of Liam. “Anyone want anything to eat? I’m gonna grab some crisps from the bar.”

“Food. Always a yes from me,” Niall replied, leaving Liam to hold down the table as the two of them headed over to the bar, squeezing into a small space. 

Harry sniffed, hoping that Niall wouldn’t see he was feeling emotional from hearing the news about Louis, not needing to explain himself yet again to his best friend. He wasn’t sure why hearing Louis was finally dating someone had upset him so much. He knew that the thing between him and Louis couldn’t last - it was only casual sex, and he’d hoped once that side of their friendship ended, that they could keep up the other half of it, but apparently not. Louis clearly wanted nothing to do with him anymore and what better way to show that than getting under someone else. Harry balled his hands into fists as he waited to be served, Niall stood quietly by his side.

“Can you seriously not see it, Haz?”

Harry frowned, looking over at his friend who was leaning over the bar, waving at one of the bar girls, trying to get her attention. “See what? Don’t start nagging me about the whole Louis thing again please, I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m not gonna nag you, I’m not. But… I can’t believe you’re being so dumb. I can see it clear as day, and I’m pretty sure Liam can too.”

“Niall, I’m not fucking Mystic Meg, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Oh, two packets of salt and vinegar crisps please, thank you.” Harry handed over a fiver and waited for his change, well aware of Niall’s eyes boring into him.

“Why you care so much about the fact that Louis’ dating someone else?”

Harry took in a deep breath and released it slowly, hoping it would calm down some of the rage burning inside him. “Fuck off, yeah? I just miss my best mate, that’s all there is to it. Stop reading into things that aren’t fucking there, Niall.” Harry snatched up the crisps and stormed away to the table, allowing Liam to carry on his conversation with the girl who had pulled up a chair next to him, Sophia, Harry thought her name was.

Niall was sat next to him now and popped open his bag of crisps, crunching as quietly as he could while Harry sat as quietly as he could, steadfastly ignoring the knowing looks from his friend. There was nothing more annoying than when Niall got the wrong end of the stick, and it seemed he was determined to get Harry to talk about whatever he thought was going on, rightly or wrongly. Harry really wasn’t in the mood.

“Look, I didn't mean to be rude, Ni, but you just keep banging on about me and Louis like there’s something more to this than what’s really there. Can you just- can you just  _ not _ , please? Him not talking to me is hard enough.”

“You need to go and talk to him, Harry, before it’s too late.” Niall stopped eating and pushed the packet away, tugging on Harry’s arm until he turned to look at him. “I know you think I’m talking bullshit but I have eyes, and I can see what’s going on, even if you can’t. You’ll regret it so much if you don’t sort it out, and admit what’s really going on.”

Harry shook his head again, pushing back from the table in anger. “Fuck this shit. I’m going home, I just… don’t follow me, Niall. I want to be alone. See you later, Liam, sorry mate.” He stalked away, not turning back to look at the friends he’d just abandoned, not just because he was angry but because if he did, Niall just might see the tears threatening to spill over, and that would ruin everything. The facade he was putting up about Louis and his date was crumbling around him, and Harry was powerless to keep building the walls back up again. He shoved his way through the crowds and out into the night, the cold air hitting his warm body and making him shiver. 

Harry might well have been surrounded by people in the bar, and there were plenty of students and staff milling around the campus but Harry had never felt so alone. The one person he wanted to go and see wanted nothing to do with him, and the thought of him meeting up with Martin for a date made him feel sick. Martin was just one of those who had always rubbed Harry up the wrong way, and Harry quickly pushed away thoughts of Martin’s hands being where his own had been on Louis’ body, his lips on Louis’.

“Fuck…” Harry mumbled as he headed for the dorms, thinking an early night was just what the doctor ordered. Sleep was the only thing that might stop the inner tumoil of his mind.

*****

_ 6.30pm - Louis’ house _

**Louis:** _ I really think this is a mistake, I should call it off, say I’m not well or something. _

**Mum:** _ Louis, you need to do this. Go and have fun, it doesn’t have to be anything more than you want it to be. This is the only way you’ll get over Harry. Xx _

**Louis:** _ That’s the problem! I don’t want to be over Harry. I want him to love me like I love him. This is so fucked up. _

**Mum:** _ Language. You don’t have to sleep with him, Lou. Just enjoy his company. See if he’s interesting. I know he’s not Harry, but he isn’t trying to be. _

**Louis:** _ Why can’t I just get what I want? Why can’t I make Harry love me, and want to be with me? _

**Mum:** _ Because that’s not how it works, my love. Go on the date, enjoy it. Text me after, okay? I love you, boo. Xx _

**Louis:** _ Love you too. Thank you for always being there. xx  _

Louis threw his phone onto the bed and just as it landed, it pinged again. Louis snatched it up, expecting it to be his mum again but he stilled when he saw the name on the screen. Harry.

“Lou, you want a cuppa before you go? I’m making one so I can do you one?”

“Nah, I’m alright, Z but thanks. Help yourself though.”

“Already was.”

Louis chuckled and shook his head, pulling up his messages.

**Harry:** _ Can we talk? Please. _

He sighed and flicked off the app, ignoring the message as he always did. It was easier this way. If he didn't hear from Harry, then he could push his feelings deeper inside, make them feel like they were never there in the first place. Louis opened his wardrobe and flicked through the few shirts he owned, wondering what to wear. Nothing he owned looked appealing, and there was no way he was wearing Harry’s- no,  _ his  _ favourite shirt. The memories of that were too much to deal with at the moment.

“Z, come here, give us a hand would you?”

He sat on the edge of his bed and waited, listening as Zayn’s footsteps got closer. He sighed again, wishing he could stop this whole thing, make it so he wasn’t going out anywhere at all. He didn't want to be doing. Not really. But when Martin had asked him out, just for dinner, Louis felt he couldn’t say no. He’d felt at the time maybe it was the way to get over his feelings for Harry, to finally move on. But right now, it felt like the stupidest decision in the world.

“You know what? Don’t worry. I’m not going.”

“Oh fuck off, yes you are.” Zayn shoved him back down onto the bed with a shove, setting his mug of tea on the bedside table before he started going through Louis’ drawers, the pair of them long past having any secrets. “Louis, you need this. You need to get back out there, to date again. Things weren’t going anywhere with Harry, and you have to put that behind you, as much as it hurts.”

“Why do I?” Louis realised he sounded like a petulant child but he wasn’t sure he cared.

“Because you’re going to end up alone if you don’t. This being in love with Harry is eating you up, Lou. Sure, the sex was great, and that’s fine, if that’s what you wanted. But it’s not. You want everything with him, things he wasn’t willing to give you. You need to stop living in dreamland Louis, and come back to the real world, to a world where Harry isn’t in love with you, and one where he isn’t your future. Sorry mate, but you need to hear it.”

Louis swallowed heavily, hoping that he wasn’t going to cry again. Once in the shower earlier on was more than enough for today. He nodded shakily and took the red and black Vans t-shirt that Zayn was holding out, along with one of his favourite pairs of skinnies. He pulled off his shorts and got dressed, standing in front of the mirror, shoulders hunched and looking more like he was going off to an execution, not a date.

“Shit. I forgot I was supposed to meet Li for a study session, I need to dash. Shit. You need to promise me you’re gonna go on this date, Louis. That you won’t back out. Promise me.”

Louis looked up into Zayn’s dark eyes and nodded slowly, knowing Zayn was the one person in the world (along with his mum) he could never lie to. “I promise. I can’t promise it’ll go further than dinner, but I promise I’ll go.”

“Come here, you fucking dick.” Zayn pulled Louis into a hug, and he relaxed into it, wishing he could just stay here with Zayn all night. “Right, try and enjoy it, okay? Martin’s an alright guy, and going out to dinner doesn’t mean you’re agreeing to anything more, you know that, okay?”

“I do. Don’t worry Z, I don’t put out on first dates.” They both chuckled at that and wandered into Louis’ small hallway. “Say hi to Li for me, yeah?”

“Will do. Have fun, Lou, and call me later.”

Louis waved as Zayn left, jogging down the road so he wouldn’t be too late to meet Liam. Louis shut the door behind him and looked in the small mirror on the wall, grimacing at the state of his hair since he’d let it air dry after his shower. He flicked on a playlist on his phone, singing along to the track that played in the background as he stood in front of the mirror, coiffing his hair to its usual perfection and making sure he was completely clean shaven. It felt odd to be without his usual scruff, but if he was meeting Harry, he knew he’d have kept it so he was determined to change things up as much as he could.

Once he was satisfied his ‘do looked good, he grabbed a jacket from his wardrobe, shrugging it on and taking a final look at himself in the mirror. He looked pretty, and he knew it, but that didn't make him want to go on this date any more than he did now. He splashed some cologne onto his face and straightened his back as he readied himself, grabbing his phone and wallet from the bed. He was ready. It was now or never.

Just as he walking into the sitting room toturn off the laptop and turn off the lights, the doorbell rang. Louis frowned, wondering who could be calling so late - surely Zayn couldn’t have come back to check he was actually going on the date? He walked to the door and didn't bother looking through the little peephole to see who was on the other side. He pulled it open and looked up, just staring as his eyes met those of the person on the other side.

Shit.

*****

_ 5pm - Harry’s dorm _

“Niall, I’m really not in the mood to sit and watch you play pool.” 

“Stop being such a fucking bore, Haz. I know what day it is, so you need to trust me to help you forget about it, okay?” 

Harry sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to win this one against Niall. He slumped down on the sofa, legs and arms folded, looking entirely like he didn't want to be there as Niall wandered over, grabbing a cue and adding his name to the chalkboard on the wall, a list of players. Harry glanced up as Niall looked over and he shook his head vehemently, determined not to play. It was bad enough he had to be here knowing what was going on in just a few hours, but it was about to get worse.

Harry looked up as the double doors into the dorm’s common room slammed open, and a group of lads barrelled in, a bit too loud for Harry’s liking. He rolled his eyes and sank back into the sofa, rolling his eyes as they all greeted the other people in the room with hugs and back slaps. The game soon began and Harry paid it no attention, flicking through his various social media accounts, preferring to like pictures of cute cats than pay any attention to the people in the room.

Harry glanced up at the sound of a familiar voice and quietly seethed when he realised it was Martin, the guy taking Louis out in a few hours. Harry actually couldn’t believe he was there, that he was laughing and joking when he should be getting ready for his date with Louis. He didn't take his eyes off the man as he moved around the room, making conversation with his mates, and Harry strained to listen in, ears perking up when he heard Louis’ name.

He growled lowly as the group moved away and he stood up, grabbing a pound from his pocket as he loitered by the vending machine, grabbing a bottle of drink while he listened in, silently raging at the disrespectful words tumbling from his mouth.

“...copped a feel of his arse when I saw him the other day, fuck, he’s huge, mate,” Martin joked, shoulder barging his idiot best friend Will as they cackled about it. “I thought it was all thanks to the jeans but nope, s’all Tommo’s. Can’t wait to touch it again.”

“Shit, you lucky bastard,” Will replied, waggling his eyebrows at Martin who just nodded, smugly folding his arms across his chest. “Gonna try and get some of that tonight, then?”

“Yeah, course I am. I’m sure he’ll put out as well. Never seen him with a guy so he must be horny as fuck for some-”

Harry had had enough. The thought of Martin bedding Louis made him angrier than anything else and he slammed his bottle on the side, stalking over to the men, head held high, fists clenched at his sides. He sensed Niall watching him but he didn't care. Respecting Louis was paramount, and Harry wasn’t going to let them talk trash about his best friend.

“Fucking shut your shitty mouth, Martin,” he began, squaring up to the other man, in his face by now. “Don’t you fucking dare talk about Louis like that.”

“Oh fuck off, Styles, what’s it to you?”

“He’s my best fucking mate, that’s what it is to do with me. Show him some fucking respect, or I’ll  _ make  _ you show him some respect.” Both men stood up tall and Harry clenched his jaw, angrier than he’d ever been.

“Respect? What that little twink deserves is my big cock-”

Harry held back a fist, ready to take a swing at the man in front of him when arms looped around his waist and tugged him backwards, away from the imminent conflict. Harry pulled away but the arms around him didn't let go, yanking him to the other side of the room.

“Harry, fucking hell, calm down, he’s doing this on purpose-”

“Yeah and I wanna punch him on purpose, Niall, fucking let me go!”

“No! He’s not worth it, ignore him. He doesn’t mean what he’s saying about Lou.”

“He does, and I won’t have Louis treated like that, no way- oh fuck off, Martin, seriously, before I get really mad.”

“Oh please. What are you, Styles, Tommo’s fucking boyfriend?” The group around Martin laughed at that, and Niall kept his arms around Harry, knowing his friend was going to snap again. “Don’t worry, he’ll get the best tonight when I take him to bed.”

“Harry, let’s go.” Harry stuck his middle finger up at Martin as Niall grabbed his arm, dragging him out onto the quad area, ignoring how cold it was outside in order to take Harry out of a worsening situation. Harry could hear them taunting him from inside but he allowed Niall to move him away, the pair stumbling across the grass, ignoring anyone else they passed in order to get as far away from Martin and his fellow idiots as they could.

“Fucking let me go, Niall-”

“Only if you promise me you’re gonna stay away from that dickhead, okay?” Harry nodded and wrenched his arm back, Niall finally releasing him. “You need to cool off right now. He knows he’s getting to you, that’s why he keeps saying that shit about Lou-”

“Doesn’t fucking make it okay, Niall! He can’t say that shit, Louis is a fucking amazing person and he deserves so much more than that fucking arsehole-”

“I know that, and Louis will realise that himself. But you can’t just attack the people that want to take him out. Defending him is just fine, but going after them? You know that’s wrong. That isn’t you at all.”

Harry breathed out and walked away a bit, trying to calm down. Adrenaline was flooding his veins and he knew he needed to chill out. As much as he hated to admit it, Niall was right. He had no business getting into Louis’ private affairs, as much as it hurt not to. 

“Haz. Why don’t you just go and tell him? Go to his house, and fucking tell him the truth for once and for all.”

“Tell him what, Niall?” Harry felt exasperated by now and he whirled around, staring at his best friend, hand on his hips, wishing Niall would stop being so cryptic. 

“Go and tell Louis that you’re in love with him, you fucking idiot.”

“That- what?” Harry gaped at Niall, heart starting to race in his chest at those words.

“You seriously don’t have a clue, do you? You’re jealous, that’s what all this shit with Martin is about. You hate the thought of him having Louis because you’re jealous, and you want Louis for yourself. I really can’t believe you can’t see it.”

“Shit, I… fuck.” Harry leaned against the nearest wall and slid down it, his head in his hands now. “Fuck.”

“Don’t think I don’t know you two have been fucking like rabbits for months either, you’re hardly subtle. You want him as much as he’s wanted you, you’re both just completely blind to it. He loves you, and it’s pretty obvious you’re in love with him. Go and get him before it’s too late, before he finds someone else.”

“Oh god. Ni… I’ve made a mess of this, haven’t I?”

“Not yet, you haven’t. There’s still time. Go to him before Martin does, tell him how you feel and let him decide what he wants.”

“What, now?”

“No, fucking tomorrow. Yes, fucking now! Go on, shift your arse!”

Niall reached his hands out and Harry took them, allowing his friend to pull him to his feet, stumbling into a quick hug. 

“Thank you, I just- shit.”

“Go.”

Harry nodded and turned on his heel, pleased he’d put his trainers on, even if the rest of his outfit wasn’t exactly what he’d choose to confess his apparent love for Louis. He raced out of the quad, slamming through the main doors and in the direction of Louis’ flat, hoping he wasn’t going to be too late.

*****

_ 7pm - Louis’ house _

Louis just stared at the sweaty, panting man stood on his doorstep, gripping onto the doorframe for what looked like dear life. Louis hadn’t laid eyes on him for weeks now, so it felt weird that he would turn up now, right when Louis was psyching himself up for his first date in far too long.

“Harry, what the fuck are you doing here? Do you, um, do you need some water or something?” Despite his confusion and slight anger at Harry just arriving out of the blue, Louis wasn’t heartless and if he was honest, he was a little concerned at how little oxygen Harry seemed to be getting into his lungs at the moment. Harry, however, just shook his head, trying to catch his breath. 

“Look, I’m actually sort of busy right now, can we do whatever this is another time, maybe?”

“No. Has to be now.” Harry stood up tall, his cheeks still bright red. Louis couldn’t miss how his top was clingy to his sweaty torso, hiding nothing of his figure from Louis, who quickly cleared his throat to distract himself a little. “Don’t go on the date tonight, Louis.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, don’t start, Haz…” Louis turned away and stalked into the hallway, knowing Harry would follow, which he did. The door shut behind the pair and Harry arrived in Louis’ bedroom, both of them trying to push away thoughts of the times they’d gone to bed together in this room, the things they’d done to each other. “Haz, I’m really not in the mood for this now-”

“No, you don’t know what he’s been saying about you, Lou. Martin isn’t a good guy, and he’s not someone you want to go out with, trust me.”

Louis turned and stared at Harry, a little surprised at the look on his face as he spilled his words, quicker than Louis had ever heard him talk before. “Harry, I’m a big boy, okay? I’m old enough to decide for myself if someone is worth my time, and I… I like Martin. He seems nice, and I want to give him a chance.”

“Louis, please-” Harry reached and grabbed Louis’ arm, and Louis met his eyes, something dark flashing in them he hadn’t seen before. “Please don’t go on this date. Please.”

Something about Harry’s tone annoyed Louis and he yanked his arm back, standing up tall and glaring at someone he’d thought was his friend, that once upon a time, he’d trusted with every part of him. Right now, he couldn’t even look at Harry without feeling angry, irrational feelings pulsating through his veins.

“Are you being serious right now? You don’t want me but no one else can have me, is that how it is? That’s complete bullshit Harry, and you know it. You can’t have it all fucking ways. Just… just go, will you?”

“No, I’m not going anywhere until you listen to me, until you promise me you won’t go out with that dickhead-”

“Enough! I’m not fucking promising you anything, Harry, and definitely not that! I said yes to this date because I want to go on it, and I’m sorry but you’re not stopping me. If you’re gonna be like this, I think you should leave before this gets out of hand.”

“Louis, I’m not leaving. You need to understand, he’s not a good guy, he-”

“Why? Tell me why I should fucking listen to a word you say, Harry! You can’t swoop in and pretend to suddenly care about me, about what I do, when all the time you’ve just been-”

“I’ve been in love with you, you fucking idiot!”

Louis’ eyes flew open as Harry hollered the words Louis had been longing to hear for so long tumbled from his lips, settling into the silence that now hung between them. They were both breathing heavily, hearts racing in their chests, and Louis swallowed, not quite believing that this was happening, right when he’d made a decision to finally move on with his life. Harry’s eyes hadn’t left his, and he licked his lips, his mouth suddenly as dry as a desert. 

“I… I can’t do this, Harry. Not now. I’m sorry.”

Louis dipped his gaze to the floor and pushed past Harry into the hallway, grabbing his Converse with shaking hands. He walked quickly into the sitting room and sat on the edge of the sofa, pulling them onto his feet, tying the laces, well aware Harry was now hovering again in the doorway. Louis could sense the tension in the air, but he went back into the hallway, grabbing his jacket from the hook on the wall and shrugging it on, patting his pockets to make sure he still had his wallet and keys he’d picked up before.

“Louis, please. Please don’t do this. Don’t go. I love you, Louis. I want you… I think I always have. Shit, I’ve been such a blind fucking idiot.” Louis allowed Harry to take his hand, holding it gently within his own, their fingers linking easily together like they were made to, like they just fit. Louis blinked away the tears threatening to fall at Harry’s heartfelt confession, and he bit his lip, hoping the pain there would distract from the crippling one in his chest. 

“It’s too late, Harry. You had so long… so fucking long to make me yours, to tell me this. You knew how I felt, I fucking told you I was in love with you and you acted like it was nothing, like it didn't matter. I’m sorry, I just- I’m sorry, I gotta go.” Before he could change his mind, Louis grabbed his keys and hurried out of the front door, not even bothering to pull it closed behind him. He paused on the garden path, taking a couple of shaky breaths in before he turned around.

The sight he saw nearly broke him. Harry, sitting on the floor of his hallway, sobbing into his folded arms. Harry sniffed and looked up, as if he sensed Louis looking at him, and his voice came out low and gruff, full of tears and emotion.

“You promised, Louis. You promised me you’d always be here, and you’re walking away.”

Louis paused, looking into Harry’s red rimmed eyes for a minute, seeing a flicker of hope within them. His own eyes filled with tears again as he made a decision he knew he might later regret, but now, it was the only choice. He turned and walked away, away from the man that once upon a time he was sure would be his future, his home. Not any more.

*****

_ An hour later _

Harry sniffed, wiping at his eyes with his t-shirt, not caring that the material was a mess of sweat, snot and tears. He was sure he looked ridiculous as well but he couldn’t bring himself to get up off the floor just yet. He hadn’t moved since Louis had walked out on him, shattering his dreams, to go on the date with Martin. The one Harry was sure was going to end in Louis’ tears, if Martin’s behaviour earlier on was anything to go by. 

He cleared his throat, not surprised it was sore from all the crying and the running he’d done earlier, and his muscles were already aching from a lack of proper warm up before such a run. He knew Louis was worth it, that he’d suffer any pain for Louis but still, he’d feel it tomorrow. Reluctantly, he got up, realising he’d better clear out before Louis got home, in case he, god forbid, chose to bring Martin back to his place. That was something Harry didn't need to ever see.

He walked into Louis’ small bathroom, grimacing when he saw his own reflection in the mirror. His eyes were red and swollen, bloodshot as well, and the end of his nose was red from all his crying. He looked awful, and he knew nothing he could do would repair anything. He ran the cold tap for a few minutes, letting the water get really cold before he cupped his hands under it, splashing his own face several times to wake him up a little bit, grabbing the hand towel to dry himself off afterwards.

He didn't move, instead staring at himself in the mirror, thoughts running at a million miles an hour in his mind. His heart was aching from Louis’ earlier dismissal of his feelings, but it suddenly dawned on him this is how Louis had been feeling all along. Louis had been in love with him the whole time, while Harry had just dismissed it, ignored the feelings because they were scary. It was a lot to admit he knew Louis was in love with him, so ignorance was the next best thing, regardless of how Louis had felt.

Harry’s stomach fell as he realised what a selfish person that made him. He’d loved Louis all along, that much was obvious now, but he’d been too scared to go after the man he wanted, the man he loved. If he wasn’t so blind and stupid, they could’ve worked things out long ago, could have been a couple and enjoyed every moment together. Instead, it had come to this. Him crying on Louis’ floor while Louis went on a date Harry was sure he didn't really want to go through with in the first place. It was a complete mess, and Harry didn't even know how to begin fixing it, if Louis even wanted to.

Harry wandered back into Louis’ bedroom, laying down gingerly on the edge of Louis’ bed, Louis’ scent enveloping him on his pillows and covers. He was exhausted, and he grabbed the other pillow from behind him, cuddling it to his chest tightly. He sniffed, willing himself not to start crying again. He pulled out his phone, ignoring the flood of messages from Niall, feeling a bit bereft when there was nothing from Louis, not that there had been for weeks, anyway.

He stilled when he heard a sound, and he swore quietly under his breath when he realised it was the front door slamming shut. It hadn’t been long enough for Louis to have gone on his date, had dinner and come back, and before he could do anything, the bedroom door slowly edged open, revealing Louis who looked just as much of a mess as Harry did. Harry scrabbled to sit up, his socked feet pressing into the bed to push himself up, wiping at his eyes as he looked to Louis, unsure what to do.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I know I should have left by now, but I, uh- I’m sorry, Louis.” He paused, wondering how Louis was going to react. It would be understandable if he kicked him out again, but Harry just prayed that he wouldn’t, that he’d hear him out, or at least talk to him before he asked him to leave. Harry couldn’t stand the silence and went to move, but Louis stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, sitting down next to Harry, their legs extended in front of them on the bed.

Louis sighed and fiddled with his fingers in his lap, the tension in the room palpable between them.

“I can’t be what you want, Harry. You don’t want me in the way that I want you, the things that I want with you. That’s why this-” he pointed between the two of them, “-this can’t work. I’m not what you truly want.”

“Shit...Louis, you are. You’re...fuck, you’re everything to me, and I don’t know why I’m such an idiot and I didn't see it. You’ve always been everything to me… don’t you see? I… god, I willingly gave up everything for you, Lou, because you were the only one I wanted to kiss, to sleep with, to spend every hour of every fucking day with. I was stupid, and in denial of how I really felt, and fuck, I regret it so much. I wish I’d have sorted it out, told you how I felt before I lost you…” his voice wobbled on the last few words, and his skin felt like it was on fire when Louis reached for his hand, taking it and squeezing gently, supporting him despite his stupidity. “I love you… I’m in love with you, and I just… I need you to know that, that everything you felt for me… I felt it too.”

“But I told you, Harry. On your birthday, I told you I was in love with you. I know I was drunk but… drunk words, sober thoughts and all that. You just… you ignored it, like you wanted it to go away. I know I said I didn't want things to change, that we could keep having sex and being us but… I just couldn’t. Not when I knew for sure my feelings were just one way.” Harry glanced over to see a tear tumbling down Louis’ cheek, and he reached to swipe it away with his thumb, still listening to Louis’ words. The next words from Louis were whispered, like if he spoke them any louder, they’d break him. “It hurt me so much. I was broken, Harry.”

“I have no excuse. I don’t. I mean, I remembered it when I woke up with a hangover, but I kind of thought maybe you were drunk, that you didn't really mean it? You came back with me and we had sex, so I thought it was just you being all emotional? I didn't want to ask you in case, well, in case you regretted it or something. I know that was stupid. I do. And I’ll never be sorry enough for that.”

Harry dared to sneak a glance over at Louis, whose eyes were still fixed on the bed in front of them, their hands still held between them. Harry didn't dare to let go. The silence was painful, and unusually, he couldn’t judge Louis’ mood. He couldn’t tell whether this was going to go the way he wanted it to, and it was killing him. He needed to know what Louis wanted, if it was still him.

“Harry, I… this can’t work. I just, I feel like this isn’t really what you want, that we’re on different pages…”

“We’re not. I’m not an idiot, Louis, I know what I’m asking for-”

“Do you, though? I don’t think you know how much it hurt me, for you to just ignore my feelings like they were nothing, because good old Louis was going to be there for you anyway.  I know that’s not what you felt, not really, but that’s how it felt to me. I had to pull away because it hurt too much to be around you knowing you’d never love me how I wanted you to.” 

Harry had nothing to say to that, and he sighed, running his thumb back and forth over Louis’ hand, wondering what he could to salvage this situation, if there was anything that could be done.

“I always thought you were so perfect, you know that? Even when I stopped being around you, you were always on my mind, in my heart. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, how much I loved you, and how much I wished you wanted me too. Your kind heart, the way you nuzzle my neck when you cuddle me, how you always try to make yourself smaller than me, even though that’s clearly never gonna work out.” Louis let out a low chuckle at that, and the sound warmed Harry’s heart. He always wanted to hear Louis laugh, to make him happy. “I’ve always loved everything about you, even when you warm your cold feet on my calves, or mess up my hair to piss me off. That’s how fucking gone I was for you, Harry.”

“I didn't know…”

“I know you didn't. And then there was the ring I gave you.” Louis looked over then and their eyes met before they drifted down to Harry’s right hand, where the ring was still sat on his middle finger. Harry hadn’t removed it since Louis had put it there, and Louis reached out to touch it gently. “Every time I saw you around campus, you were wearing it. I liked to think that you never took it off-”

“I didn’t. Not since you put it on me that night.”

“Oh. Well, it had different connotations for me. I thought it might mean that you were thinking of me, that you wanted it to link us in some way. I wanted to… shit, I can’t believe I’m gonna say this. I was gonna give it to you on your birthday, I wanted it to be like a promise ring, something between us. But I couldn’t bring myself to say it, I was too scared. So I made out it was nothing, just a gift. But it was so much, Harry. It still is.” 

“It meant more to me, too. I loved having something like that from you, I really did. And I never took it off, because it felt like something for just the two of us to share, like… uh, like you were with me when I wore it? I felt closer to you because of it, even when you didn't want to be around me anymore. It felt nice to have a little part of you, Lou.”

“Harry, I-”

“Don’t. Don’t say this can’t work again, Louis. Please. I’m sorry, for everything, for hurting you, for not being honest with you about how I felt. I don’t have enough words…” Harry trailed off, starting to cry again. It felt hopeless, like Louis was just out of reach, and there was no way back, no matter how much they wanted it.

“Don’t cry, baby, please-” Harry went easily as Louis pulled him against him into a hug, their chests colliding as Harry’s body shook with his tears, finally letting go of the emotion that had been bubbling inside for the past few minutes, hearing Louis’ heartfelt confessions.

“I’m so sorry, Louis, I’m so sorry. I just… I don’t want it to be too late for us… I- I want this, I want us. I can’t lose you, Louis, not again-”

Louis pulled back and cupped Harry’s face gently, looking deep into his eyes. Harry could see tears in them, and realised he would do anything in the world to never see those eyes sad again.

“You could never lose me, Harry.” Louis’ thumb drifted over Harry’s cheekbone and stilled as Louis leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth, barely a brush of their lips but to Harry, it was everything he’d been waiting for.

“Don’t be sorry, love. Just… don’t hurt me again, please? I can’t keep doing this.. You need to be sure I’m what you want, because if we do this, there’s no going back… I won’t let myself get hurt again.”

“Never. Never again, I promise. I love you, Louis, so much-”

“I love you too. Harry…”

“Lou?”

“Kiss me. Please?”

Harry didn't hesitate. He took Louis’ face in his hands, bringing them together in a slow kiss. It was different to how Harry had felt every other time he’d kissed Louis before. This one was laced with a promise, of them, of happiness, of love. Their lips moved together, tears mingling on their cheeks as they kissed, both of them losing themselves in it, Louis’ hands on Harry’s waist as they put every ounce of love and emotion inside of them into the kiss.

Harry pulled away slowly, tracing the pad of his thumb over Louis’ bottom lip, unable to stop the smile that was creeping across his own lips now, happiness settling deep inside him. It was Louis who came forward next, wriggling closer to Harry on the bed as they kissed, his hands coming up to rest on Harry’s chest, as if he were trying to feel his heartbeat, to prove he was real. 

Harry moaned in the back of his throat as Louis’ tongue swiped against his lips, asking for entrance. Harry parted his lips, shivering as Louis’ tongue gently pressed against his own, slowly tasting each other. Harry allowed his hands to dip to Louis’ neck, caressing it softly as they kissed, becoming lost in the passion of finally opening themselves up to each other, revealing their feelings and becoming each others.

Just as Harry was feeling more, Louis pulled away, pecking Harry’s lips a few more times before he sat back, cheeks flushed, eyes shining in the light of the bedroom, his hands resting on Harry’s legs now. “I, uh… I just need a minute, I think. Do you want a cuppa?”

“Please. I’ll help.” Louis nodded and got off the bed first, and Harry paused when Louis stopped in the doorway, turning back to look at Harry. Wordlessly, he held out his hand and Harry grinned, stepping forward and sliding his hand in behind Louis’, a small gesture but one that meant so much to the pair of them. 

Harry only let go when they got into Louis’ kitchen, and he sat down at the table while Louis filled the kettle at the sink, watching him as he moved around. 

“So, uh… can we be clear, Haz?”

“Of course.” Harry gripped the edges of his chair, nervous of what Louis was about to say. Louis spun around and leaned back against the worktop, eyes on Harry as he took a deep breath in and released it slowly.

“What are we? I mean… what do you want us to be? What… what do you want, Haz?”

Harry knew the answer, and it could be summed up simply in the one word he uttered into the room. “Everything.”

Louis blushed and Harry quickly got up, walking towards him and taking his hands as he kept talking quietly, words for only Louis to hear. 

“I want you, Louis. I want you to be mine, and for me to be yours. I want to be your boyfriend, and to say you’re my boyfriend too. I want you in my life, allowing me to love you, to make you smile. But most importantly… I want you to be happy.”

“I am… you make me happy. You always have.”

“Good. And I promise every day that I’ll try to make you just a little bit happier than you were the day before. That’s all I want because I… I love you, Louis. So, so much. I wish it hadn’t taken me so long.”

“You got there in the end. That’s all that matters.”

Harry grinned and leaned in for a quick kiss before Louis walked away, and Harry couldn’t resist coming up behind him, pressing them together as Louis filled the mugs on the side with boiling water, letting his head fall to the side so Harry could kiss up the side of his neck, against his pulse point, inhaling the scent of Louis’ after shave he loved so much. He hadn’t been able to smell that since he’d been away from Louis… the memories and thoughts it evoked was too visceral.

“You smell amazing, you know. Like… fucking gorgeous.” Harry leaned back in, nipping at the thin skin of Louis’ neck, sucking it between his lips gently, not hard enough to leave too much of a mark. “I’ve missed you, being close to you. Not just for sex, I promise but just… you. Your body.”

“Fuck.” Louis arched his back slightly, drawing their bodies closer together for a moment. “I’ve missed you too… hated the thought of you being with anyone else.”

“I wasn’t. I haven’t since we started… since us. You’re the only one for me, Louis, you always have been.” Louis turned around in Harry’s arms then, hands coming around to rest on Harry’s arse as they kissed lazily again, breaths getting heavier as their kisses became deeper and more passionate, Harry unable to stop his hands roaming around Louis’ body, needing to feel him again.

“Haz… why were you so adamant I couldn’t go out with Martin? Was it just him, or anyone-”

“No, him. He’s a fucking dick, Lou… the shit he said about you, I wasn’t having it.”

“What did he say?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“It does, if it made you that upset. Tell me…”

“He was, uh, talking about your arse? How he felt it and it was all real and big… how he wanted to touch it again…”

“Well, the only one I want touching me is you....” Louis glanced up at him under his eyelashes then, his eyes dark, burning with intent. “Touch me, Harry.”

Harry didn't utter a word. He swooped in and crashed their lips together, prepared to give Louis whatever it was he wanted. Nothing was too much. His tongue was pushing into Louis’ mouth, his hands pulling at the hem of Louis’ t-shirt, desperate to touch his skin, to have his hands on Louis’  body again. Louis moaned when Harry slid his hands over Louis’ lower back, both desperate for something more, to feel each other completely.

Harry reached down, grabbing Louis under his bum and off his feet, Louis’ legs wrapping around his waist quickly, not breaking their kiss. Harry steadied himself before he whirled around, heading them both into the sitting room, Louis hanging off his body, relying on Harry to support him completely. Harry loved the feeling and held on tightly, never really wanting to let go. He gently lowered Louis to the sofa, throwing the cushions out of the way onto the floor, looking down at his boyfriend, eyes full of desire.

“What do you want, Lou?”

Louis turned his head to the side, blushing deeply at the thought of having to answer Harry’s question. Harry smirked and bent down, licking down Louis’ jaw when he refused to answer, tucking two fingers under his chin to make him look at him.

“Want me to guess?”

Louis nodded and Harry sat back, rubbing his palms up and down Louis’ denim-clad thighs for a minute.

“You want me to kiss you?” Louis puckered his lips and Harry leaned over, palms on the sofa as their lips met, both smiling slightly. “Hmm, not exactly what you want I don’t think.”

Louis shook his head, shyly biting his lip as he looked up at Harry, wriggling around underneath him. 

“Okay… want me to touch you, baby?” Louis nodded but stayed where he was, following the movements of Harry’s hands as he moved them slowly over Louis’ body. “Hmm. But where? Here?” He laid his hands flat on Louis’ chest again, pressing his fingertips in slightly, seeing how Louis reacted before moving on, sure he hadn’t guessed quite yet. “Or… here?” His hands were at Louis’ hips now, slipping slightly into the waistband of his jeans, touching the soft skin beneath his clothes. 

Harry arched a brow as Louis imperceptibly shook his head, meeting Harry’s eyes again as his hands drifted lower, brushing across Louis’ crotch, palming him gently, not enough for Louis. “Here? Hmm, I quite like it here. But no… perhaps here?” He ended on Louis’ thigh, allowing his hands to dip between them, resting on Louis’ curvy inner thighs, somewhere Harry loved to mark up in the past when they were intimate. “Still not sure I’ve got it right, have I?”

Harry could feel his body reacting to this, to his hands touching Louis everywhere, and he could see Louis’ body reacting similarly, his cock straining against the zip of his jeans now, and Louis was struggling to keep his composure, laid out and at Harry’s mercy.

“So how about… you want me to use my mouth?” Louis shuddered at that and Harry smirked, aware he’d probably hit the nail on the head, that he could work out what Louis wanted from here. “Ah. My mouth. Let’s see, gorgeous.... I think… here?” He leaned right over Louis’ prone body, lining them up as he dipped his head to kiss Louis, moving their lips together before he allowed his tongue entrance, playing with Louis’ for a moment, teasing, not allowing Louis exactly what he wanted. “God, you taste so good, baby…”

Harry’s fingers deftly hitched up Louis’ top then, exposing his body for him but Louis allowed it, watching as Harry licked down his throat onto his chest, sucking a nipple quickly into his mouth. “This where you want my mouth, Lou?” Louis back arched as Harry gently bit the other nipple, his fingertips working over the other, making Louis’ back arch, panting with desire now. Harry made sure to taste every inch of Louis’ skin that he could before he sat up again, pressing a hand against his own erection, well aware of the effect this was having on both of them.

“Getting closer. How about… this?” He rested his hand on top of Louis’ hard length, squeezing gently. Much to his surprise, Louis shook his head, blinking slowly up at Harry as his hand came up, taking Harry by the wrist and pushing it lower, spreading his legs so Harry could get further down and stilling when he touched him between his legs, showing Harry exactly what he wanted. “Shit… you want my mouth there?”

“Please-”

Louis surged up, grabbing Harry’s face in his hands as he kissed him, both of them urgent and desperate for each other by now. Harry knew this would be happening here, that there was no chance of them taking it to the bedroom so he forced Louis down onto his back again, smirking as Louis’ legs came around his waist, grinding them both together for a moment.

“Then when I’m done making you feel good with my mouth… are you gonna let me fuck you?”

“Now, please-”

“Gonna take my time with you baby, make you feel so good. You want that, hmm? Want me to make you fall apart, make you come with my name on your lips?”

“Harry-”

“I’m here. Gonna take care of you, Lou. My beautiful fucking boyfriend, I’m so lucky… let’s get these off, wanna see you, all of you…” Louis laid and let Harry slowly undress him, lifting his limbs but for the most part, Harry was entirely in charge, eyes roaming everywhere as he peeled off Louis’ clothes, revealing him bit by bit until he was bare in front of him. It was far from the first time he’d seen Louis naked, but it felt different now, knowing he was his boyfriend, that they were in love. He suddenly felt very emotional and grabbed for Louis’ hand, needing him to know how he felt.

“I love you very much, Lou. I don’t… don’t want you to think this is about sex for me, because it isn’t. This is about you, me loving you, wanting you…”

“I know. I feel the same.” Louis dropped Harry’s hand and brought it up to cup his cheek for a moment. “I love you more than anything… always have. But please… I need you now, we can be soppy later-”

Harry cut him off with a loud laugh, not having expected Louis to be the one desperate for intimacy all of a sudden. “Okay… fuck. Yeah. Uh… lean over the arm, baby, hands and knees, okay? Lube in the bedroom?”

“Yeah, you know where- ah!” Harry slapped Louis’ arse gently as he stood up, walking as quickly as he could into Louis’ bedroom, picking up the lube from the bedside drawer, pleased to see it seemed about as full as the last time he was here, doing this with Louis. He returned and smirked at the sight of Louis, arse in the air, waiting for him. 

“Wanna make you feel good, Lou, okay?” Louis nodded and Harry wasted no time, diving in and licking at Louis eagerly, making him cry out almost immediately. The sound went straight to Harry’s cock, and he moaned as he tasted Louis’ most intimate place, something he loved to do before but now, it meant much more. Louis was whimpering and moaning with each swipe of Harry’s tongue, and he rocked his hips back and forth until Harry stilled him with hands on his hips, holding him in place. “Stay still love, be good for me.”

“Sorry, I- shit, feels so good,” Louis mumbled, burying his face into the arm cushion, muffling his sounds somewhat. “Fuck, Harry!” 

Harry was eager, pointing his tongue and running it in small circles around Louis’ rim, smirking as his muscles fluttered under his touch, his hands trailing down to squeeze his cheeks, pulling them apart slightly to give himself a better angle to pleasure Louis. There was something erotic to Harry about using his mouth on Louis like this, and he kissed over his hole, hoping Louis felt as good as he did in that moment.

Slowly, he pushed the tip of his tongue inside, Louis crying out at the stretch. Harry was aware it had been weeks since they’d last slept with each other, and Louis’ body was ridiculously responsive to every move Harry made. His hands worked between Louis’ legs, fondling his balls and neglected cock while his tongue pushed in, licked around and drove Louis wild. It was so much, and it was everything. Harry wouldn’t change this moment for a single thing.

“Harry, I- shit, want you to fuck me, please- oh my god…”

Harry pulled back, licking his lips before he looked up, admiring the curve of Louis’ spine and how he was bent over for him, entirely open and vulnerable. The way he was trusting Harry with this made Harry’s heart sing. “Okay, baby. You want my fingers, or-”

“No. I’m ready, just… please, I need you-” Louis looked back over his shoulder and Harry was shocked to see his eyes glassy with tears, cheeks red and pupils blown. He nodded and stood up, tugging off his clothes until he was as naked as Louis, well aware of his boyfriend’s eyes all over him, how he was stroking his cock as he watched Louis shift his knees apart, giving Harry more room. “Like this-”

“Fuck, alright…” Harry knelt behind Louis, lining up carefully, Louis rocking his body back gently, both men gasping as Harry’s wet tip brushed Louis’ hole, sensations floating through their bodies. “Hang on, baby, need lube…” Harry grabbed it and messily coated his cock, putting some on his fingers and moving it over Louis’ rim too, not wanting him to be hurt in any way, especially as he hadn’t wanted any more prep than Harry’s tongue. “Love you…”

He pushed in slowly, watching as Louis hung his head, hissing with the stretch before his eyes drifted down to where he was splitting Louis open, watching Louis’ body hungrily accept his cock as if they were made for each other. Harry shivered as he realised they were, that he and Louis were meant to be, that this is how things should have been all along. He bottomed out and ran his fingers over Louis’ back, encouraging his head to tilt to the side slightly.

“Wanna hear you, Lou, don’t be shy, baby-”

“Love you, Harry… fuck me now-”

Harry laughed, pleased to see his usual forthright Louis was back now they were having sex again. “Alright… gonna give you what you want.” He pulled his hips back before slamming them forwards, making Louis cry out, shifting slightly on the sofa as Harry’s hips met his arse. Louis felt incredibly warm and tight around him, and Harry had a feeling he wouldn’t last long, that it was all going to become overwhelming quite quickly.

The slaps of Harry’s hips against Louis’ arse filled the little sitting room then, with the sofa springs squeaking underneath them adding to the music they were making together. Louis was begging for more, mumbling about how good he felt while Harry focused on making Louis fall apart, his cock pounding at his boyfriend, trying to make him come.

“Oh, fuck! There... Again, there, Haz… FUCK!” Harry knew he’d found Louis’ spot and he angled his hips lower, fucking up to where he knew it would drive Louis crazy, enjoying the cacophony of sounds spilling from his lips with each thrust deep inside his body. “Harry… I’m gonna come…-”

“Good, wanna see you come baby, always look beautiful when you come.” 

“No… don’t want to, want to fuck you first-”

This wasn’t something they’d ever tried before but suddenly, it was all Harry wanted most in the world. He nodded and drove his cock faster in Louis, a hand slipping around to hold the base of his boyfriend’s cock, preventing his orgasm now he knew what was coming. Louis surprised him pushing back into each thrust, making each one more powerful, sending Harry hurtling towards his own release quicker than he thought possible.

“Oh god, Lou… you’re so good, so so good and fucking beautiful-” He couldn’t take his eyes off Louis as he sped up, his hips fucking wildly forwards now as he felt the familiar burn low in his belly, signalling his orgasm was imminent. “Gonna fucking love you forever… make you mine… ah... oh god, Louis-” Harry couldn’t hold it back anymore. He started to come, pushing his cock deep inside Louis’ body, filling him up, his whole back shaking with pleasure, watching Louis just take everything he had to give him.

He slid out after a few minutes, pressing kisses to Louis’ back as they caught their breath. He watched as Louis winced slightly, getting himself onto his bum on the sofa, not caring he was going to leave stains that probably wouldn’t come out. It was an old sofa anyway. 

“Straddle me, gonna open you open quick…”

“Fuck, yeah-” Harry did as he was told, sitting naked on Louis’ lap, his tummy fluttering in anticipation of finally being touched, needing Louis now. Louis wasn’t slow, diving in with one finger as he pulled Harry down into a deep kiss with the other hand, their sweaty chests moving together as Harry rocked himself on Louis’ digit, feeling completely filthy at what they were doing. Louis’ erection was pressed between them, and Harry dipped a finger down, swiping through the precome at the head, bringing it up to his lips and sucking it into his mouth, making Louis moan loudly before he pushed in another finger. “That’s enough… wanna feel you, Lou.” 

“I- you sure?”

“Yeah. Please, baby.” Louis nodded and Harry rose up on his knees, the pair lining themselves up now before Harry started to slowly lower himself. It felt different now he’d come, like his body wasn’t sure what was happening but it felt good. He sank down until he was completely sat down on Louis’ bare legs, arms looped around his neck as they stared into each other’s eyes, lost in the moment and how they felt. “God, you feel so good, Louis…”

“Yeah? Want you ride me, Haz, can you do that for me?” Harry just nodded and circled his hips slowly, getting used to feeling Louis inside him again. He thought about the fact that it had only been Louis for so long for him, and now, hopefully, it would only ever be Louis again. The thought didn't scare him at all, and he kissed his boyfriend slowly as he started to move more, his body relaxing now, used to the intrusion.

No more words were spoken as Harry rode Louis quietly and eagerly, Louis’ hands gripping his hips, watching as Harry’s body rose and fell onto his lap, taking Louis’ cock over and over inside of him. Louis felt sensitive already from having been fucked, and doing this so close together like this felt so good, and Harry felt like he was on fire from his head down to his toes. Everything Louis was doing to him was driving him insane.

Just as Harry thought he couldn’t feel any better, Louis broke away from their kiss and lowered his head, sucking one of Harry’s nipples into his mouth, whirling his tongue around the hard nub. It was that sensation that pushed Harry into his second orgasm of the night, a small amount of come coating Louis’ tummy as he continued to ride him, thighs burning with the exertion, sensing Louis was near.

“Close, baby-” Louis whispered, and Harry rose up, slamming back down and sending Louis into an intense orgasm, finally releasing all the tension in his body as he filled Harry up, both of them kissing languidly, neither wanting to pull apart. “Fucking hell, that was amazing… you’re amazing.”

“So are you,” Harry whispered, gently lifting himself up before he collapsed onto the sofa, pulling Louis’ naked body on top of his. He wrapped his long arms around Louis and kissed his forehead, their limbs tangled up together on the small piece of furniture, keeping them close. “Louis?”

“Hmm?” Harry stroked through Louis’ hair, sensing he was about to fall asleep, but there was something he needed to ask first.

“Can I stay the night? Want to wake up with you tomorrow… forever, actually.”

“Yeah,” Louis replied with a big smile, tilting his head back wearily to look at his boyfriend, adoration in his eyes. “Yeah, I’d love that. I love you, Harry.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. Thank you, for everything.”

There was no reply, and Harry allowed his eyes to shut, tired but ridiculously content, exactly where he wanted to be.

*****

The next morning, Louis unlocked the front door and let Harry pass him, locking it behind him as they headed off up the garden path.

“Oi, hold my hand,” Louis moaned, and Harry grinned, eagerly taking Louis’ smaller hand in his own. “Fuck, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to be able to hold your hand in public, to show everyone you’re mine.”

“Like this?” Harry asked as he stopped in the middle of the pavement and kissed Louis deeply, not caring who was watching. Louis giggled as he pulled away, aware of the blush on his cheeks as he dragged his ridiculous boyfriend up the road towards the campus, where they were meant to meet their best friends. 

Both of their phones had been blowing up since last night, and they’d ignored all messages until this morning, cryptically arranging a meeting point with the two of them so they could finally reveal their new status to everyone at once. 

“You know I slept so well last night. Think it was cos I had you cuddling me all night,” Harry said softly, and Louis grinned, knowing how much he’d liked spooning Harry to sleep once they’d finally dragged themselves off the sofa and into bed. They’d had sex again when they woke up but this time it was less frantic, slow and steady, full of love and kisses and touches, exactly what they both needed.

“Me too. I’m gonna want you to stay all the time now, though, you know that?” Louis asked, and Harry smiled, nodding next to him. The cafe soon came into view and butterflies were flapping madly in Louis’ tummy, realising this was it. Everyone was going to know about them. It wasn’t going to be a secret for much longer. “You ready for this?” 

“I am. Are you?”

“I’ve been ready for a long time, love,” Louis remarked, tugging Harry’s hand in the direction of the building, holding on tightly, although he knew Harry wasn’t going anywhere. A blast of warm air hit them as they pushed the door open, stepping inside and looking around for their friends. They couldn’t see them initially and kept their hands linked as they pushed their way through the crowds, stopping when they spotted them in the distance, chatting together.

It was Niall who noticed them first. Harry pulled Louis to a stop, and Louis just grinned, waiting for Zayn to see them too. Niall nudged him, and they both grinned madly at Harry and Louis, who were making it obvious they were more than just friends now. Louis led Harry over to the table and slid into a seat as Harry pulled his closer, the pair’s knees touching as they sat opposite their friends, awaiting the inevitable barrage of questions that was going to come.

“So,” Niall began, Irish lilt coming out in a light-hearted tone. “Something to tell us, have we?”

Louis just watched as Harry shrugged, determined to stay coy as long as he could. 

“Well, thank fuck for that. ‘Bout time you two got your heads out of your arses and made things right between you,” Zayn said, a soft smile on his face that Louis knew meant he was happy for him. “All good?”

“All good,” Louis confirmed, squeezing Harry’s hand on top of the table, not ever wanting to hide anything ever again.

“Harold, come and get some coffees with me. That’s code for we need to have a chat,” Zayn said, clapping Harry on the back as he stood up, wandering over to join the queue.

“You know,” Niall started again as Louis watched his boyfriend chat with his best friend out of the corner of his eyes. “If you hurt him, I’m gonna have to kill you, Tommo. He’s my pride and joy, he really is.”

“I love him too much to ever hurt him,” Louis replied, and he could see Niall’s eyes soften towards him at that. “All I ever wanted was him… this. It was him who had to work out what he wanted. I’ve always known. It’s always been him.”

“Think the whole world knew that, mate, was just Hazza who had to catch up.” Louis nodded, smiling up at Harry who set down a cup of tea in front of him, made exactly how he liked it. 

“I reckon I might have to keep you if you make me tea like this every morning,” Louis mused, and Harry grinned, pecking his lips quickly before he sat down, taking Louis’  hand again. 

“Sounds good to me. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Oh for fucks sake, is this what I’m gonna have to put up with now? Zayn, you’re my new bestie, we’ll exchange digits and I’ll hit you up, okay?” Niall took a swig of his coffee while Louis giggled into his tea at Zayn’s unamused expression.

As Harry, Niall and Zayn chatted about something they’d seen on TV over the past week, Louis leaned his head over, resting it gently on Harry’s shoulder, smiling as Harry’s arm easily came up and around his shoulders, holding him close. Louis’ mind drifted back to just a few months ago, thinking how he used to do things like this, hoping Harry wouldn’t read too much into it, that it wouldn’t scare him off.

Now, though, it was real. It was everything he’d ever wanted, and Louis couldn’t believe that he’d been lucky enough for everything to fall into place, for Harry to realise that he loved Louis in the way Louis loved him. In a way, it was just as it always was. The four of them hanging out, Louis draped over Harry. But by the same token, everything had changed. Harry was his boyfriend, they were in love, and Louis felt quite sure this wasn’t just a short term thing. He had Harry now, and he wasn’t letting him go. 

“Babe, what did Zayn say to you?” Louis asked in a lull in the conversation, quiet enough that he wouldn’t be overheard by their nosy friends.

“Probably exactly the same thing Niall said to you. Told me look after you, that he’d hurt me if I hurt you type thing.” Louis laughed, nodding and agreeing it was what Niall had said quite bluntly to himself. “He also, uh, he said I wasn’t allowed to ever leave you now, cos I make you happy.”

Louis blushed but risked a glance up at Harry, his voice soft and coy as he couldn’t help but ask the next question. “And what do you think about that?”

“I’m right where I want to be.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a comment and let me know what you thought, I love to read them.
> 
> There's a [rebloggable Tumblr fic post here](https://chloehl10.tumblr.com/post/182136703846/all-i-do-is-want-you-by-lovelarry10-words-31562) if you wish to share it.


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